As you may remember from last week, we never got to see the rose ceremony because of some shit that went down with the bitch we all love to hate: Olivia. Some of the girls came to Ben to tell him, "hey, look, do not marry this girl..she's a lunatic" and Ben was like, "hmm, yeah, I am starting to get that vibe..." so then he pulls Olivia aside and the episode ended.
Here we go.
Bachelor Ben confronts Olivia about her lunacy. Olivia claims that the reason the girls are mad is because she got the FIR and since then there's been a target on her back. She claims that she just doesn't get along with these girls because all they want to do is paint their nails, comb each other's hair, etc. and she is not like that. She would rather read a good. She wants to "talk smart things."
Meanwhile, the girls are talking shit, of course. Emily (Twin) is really not having it. She says that "Olivia personally has offended her in so many ways."
How...?
I mean, I feel like Olivia has offended me more personally than she has offended Emily.
Ben doesn't take Olivia's rose away like we all hoped. She returns to the girls and they all ask "what happened" and "what's wrong" like they don't already know. FAKE.
Olivia says she doesn't want to talk about it.
Yikes.
Ben tells all of the women that he appreciates them and who they are as individuals.
Whatever, man.
Rose Ceremony time (just a reminder - Lauren H, Amanda, and Olivia have roses):
1- Caila - eh, whatever
2- Lauren B - his #1
3- JoJo - kind of fake, but still like her
4- Becca - still there! looking hopeful, guys
5- Leah - interesting
6- Emily - oh boy.
AWWWH MAN. Thus, Bachelor Ben 2.0 sends Jennifer home. I really thought she had a good chance, and I feel very sorry for her. She flew under the radar, but in a good way, and instead he gives a rose to a few other gals who definitely shouldn't stand a chance.
After the sadness, Ben informs the girls that they will be traveling to the Bahamas.
I'M NOT JEALOUS.
The ladies are very excited, as if they haven't been "so excited" this whole time.
Many of the women are still lingering on the "Olivia Situation" although I realllllllly don't think she'll make it another week.
Papi H comes in and tells the girls that there will be three dates this week: a one-on-one, a group, and everyone's favorite, the two-on-one (I'm secretly thrilled about..although the girls are dreading it)
After dropping the bomb, Papi gives the girls the first date card. Caila gets the first one-on-one. The fire is literally coming out of some nostrils. Leah is really offended because she's the only person who hasn't gotten a one-on-one, or anything special from Ben. She's not trying very hard to hide her disdain, especially when he sits down CONVENIENTLY right next to her.
Jeeeeeez.
Ben takes Caila on her SECOND one-on-one date. She acts all cute even though we all know she's a sex panther.
Ben's words, not mine.
Ben and Caila spend some time in their bathing suits fishing on some boat. Caila pretends not to know how to operate the rod.
Ben assists her.
Meanwhile, back at the hotel, Leah is reallllllllllllly upset. Like emotional breakdown level. She just babbles on about how none of this is worth it and she feels so worthless and like a loser. "He's not taking that leap with me," she says...then the producers cut to a scene of Ben and Caila jumping off the boat playfully into the ocean.
Nice editing, guys.
Ben wants to "get to know the real Caila" the one "behind the smile."
He basically pushes her to tell a sad story, or be more vulnerable. She tells him that she isn't ready to do that with him, and that she feels that he is putting her on the spot.
WHOAAA.
Not taking any crap, Caila. Nice.
She tells him that she feels like she loves him, but she isn't sure she can actually totally and completely fall in love with somebody. THEN she's like, "I feel like I'm going to break your heart"
OH BOY.
I mean, at least she's being honest.
Ben is confused.
Back at the mansion, Lauren B, Becca, Amanda, JoJo, Lauren H, and Leah get the group date card. Despite crying over her fear of getting a two-on-one date, Leah is STILL not satisfied with a group date. Like, what do you want, bitch?
This means Olivia and Emily will have the dreaded two-on-one date. HUH. Convenient that's the two-on-one should go to the most controversial pair: we all know Emily hates Olivia maybe the most out of everyone. Why are the two-on-ones always so terrible? Remember Chris's season with that psycho Kelsey, the widow of Sanderson Poe, and then that crying virgin girl with the heavy makeup?
Yeeeikes.
Olivia says she does NOT want to be on the date with Emily because Emily is "so young" (they are the same age: 23) and "like a fucking bird" (?)
Okey dokey.
Back to the one-on-one.
Ben demands honesty from Caila about her feelings. He asks her if she thinks he is not the right person to which she responds hesitantly that her "mind is feeling different from her heart"
WHAT?!
She was all giggly and happy ten minutes ago. What is going on here?
Although, it doesn't really surprise me considering she broke up with her boyfriend to come on this show. She saves herself by telling Ben that she feels "understood" when she is around him. Which is really odd because something tells me he doesn't understand her AT ALL.
Ben gives her the rose, nonetheless, because.. reasons beyond my comprehension. Something tells me Caila will never really know what the hell she wants, and will continue to confuse him. So that's healthy.
The group date begins. Leah is very desperate for a connection with Ben. She continues to be a salty little bitch and as the girls talk about how "EXCITED" they are for this group date, Leah sits there like a Debbie Downer.. "well being the only person without a one-on-one..." the other girls literally have had enough of her shit.
The ladies head down the beach. JoJo runs up ahead of the others and hugs Ben first. Oh, Jesus.
Ben takes them for a boat ride...which is exactly what he and Caila did, but whatever.
They spot a big group of pigs swimming in the shallows of the ocean.
Yeah, you heard me.
Ben tells the girls that they are going to be swimming with pigs..? Is that a thing?
And then he says they'll be feeding the pigs hot dogs.
So. That's really sick.
Leah points out that that is cannibalism and Ben informs her that they will be feeding the pigs chicken hot dogs. Ohhh kay. I really hope that is not a lie.
PETA is going to be on ABC television like glue.
If I were these girls, I would be very alarmed. Pigs are terrifying, and rude creatures. Like, pigs have KILLED PEOPLE. This is so dangerous! Ben has brought a reign of terror and horror upon his girlfriends.
"The girls are having a blast!"
NO THEY'RE NOT.
They're obviously scared to death. JoJo gets attacked by two pigs and tries to make it seem okay. She says it reminds her of a bar in Dallas. LOL
Meanwhile, back at the hotel, Emily calls Twin #2 and informs her of her dread for the two-on-one.
On the group date, the pigs calm down once they realize they won't be able to kill these girls on camera (and they ran out of "chicken" hot dogs) so things get a little weird as the group lingers on the beach. Lauren B takes Ben aside for some one-on-one time...the only issue is she takes him out into the water, and it's the middle of the day. So you can see everything. Lauren H and Leah say they don't feel as pretty as the other girls...and that makes me sad.
Honestly, because this group of girls all look the same to me.
Right?
Ben 2.0 pulls JoJo aside because somehow she became the "voice of the people"
They all mutually decide this is very hard, and not very fun. Ben wonders how you date this many women that you care about and make it work.
Well, Ben, you don't.
This is not how things work IRL.
Leah is very upset still because she feels like hasn't tried at all with her. He finally comes over to her, and she's awkward AF, then starts crying immediately. I feel for her, I really do.
Meanwhile, the ridiculous pigs are squealing in the background LOL
Ben asks Leah to make the most of today. She says "fine..." and then they hug it out.
So that seemed to go VERY well.
She calls him an "idiot" to Lauren H
Damn, Ben is getting blasted today. I think the group date mood is NOT great this season. Can't wait for it all to be over.
Luckily, it's cocktail time. This will make everything better.
Ben pulls Becca aside first and confronts her about how she seemed stand-offish today. Becca agrees and claims that all of the girls felt a little awkward on this date. (I mean he couldn't possibly think feeding pigs would be fun?) She then says that it is obvious that he and Lauren B have a connection. Ben's eyes go wide like he can't believe anyone else noticed.
UM, YEAH BEN, AMERICA HAS NOTICED.
Just because these girls don't like to "smart talk" with Olivia doesn't mean they're stupid.
Poor guy. He just doesn't know.
Leah finally gets some one-on-one time. Ben tells Leah that she needs to take this time to be as open as possible and that he wants to get to know her. Instead of trying to do any of THAT, Leah first tells Ben that she thinks there are women here who are here for the wrong reasons. She says she doesn't think some people are being real with him.
Verbatim: "It hurts that I see Lauren B spending so much time with you, then I see the type of person she is when she's with us. I don't think it will work out with you two in the end."
WHAT THE HELL?
I mean, I'm not like so gung-ho Lauren B. I like the girl. I think Leah is totally out of line here. She's literally lying to Ben's face? Unless she sees something we don't. Something tells me it's more of a last ditch effort to stay safe this week. And that always ends reallllllllly well.
To make it weird, Lauren B walks in and interrupts smiling, she says "you guys, it's storming..!"
as if bringing on some bad omen. The music gets serious.
Ben is very confused.
Lauren asks him what's wrong. He tells her that something has been brought to his attention: that she is different in person/in the house than she is with him.
Lauren is verrrrrrrry perplexed by this, and rightfully so considering it is most likely untrue and something made up by the newly crazed Leah.
She says nothing to her own defense because she has no idea what the hell is going on.
She returns to the girls and starts crying immediately. CONVENIENTLY, the only person NOT there is Leah. HMMMMM. And JoJo, but that is because Ben has pulled her aside for some chat.
Becca, Amanda, and Lauren H are all very comforting and supportive. Leah returns, asks what is going on, and when Lauren B tells her, Leah denies it was her and says she would "never be the type of person to single someone out like that"
OH-KAY Leah "I'm a guy's girl let me hike up my skirt and throw you a football" NOW WE KNOW WHY YOU'RE A GUYS GIRL BECAUSE YOU'RE LITERALLY THE WORST and could never keep girl friends.
Ben gives the date rose to Amanda, which is a nice, neutral choice. thank GOD it wasn't Leah, you guys.
Should Leah go home over Olivia? Olivia is annoying and crazy but at least she's not a fucking liar.
Leah says she "needs to do something dramatic tonight" because this is "make or break" time.
Chill out LIAR.
Lauren B is crying in bed to Amanda and Emily. They tell her that it's got to be Leah. So good, at least they fucking get it.
Meanwhile, Leah plots her seduction.
Ben is passed out on the couch, with a glass of Cab next to his head. Same, bro. Leah wants to tell Ben the "truth about Lauren B" oh God.
Can't you just get to know him? Why do you have to be such a bitch?!
I mean, unless there is something we aren't seeing.
Leah continues to spout her lies about Lauren B, probably breaking Ben's fucking heart because he loves Lauren B (it's been decided.) "I'm not here to sabotage her...or like, talk trash about Lauren..." except. That's exactly why you're here. so.
Ben sees right through it. He realizes he will never have a connection with Leah--a girl who can only talk crap about other girls.
He tells her that "something is missing" between him and Leah, and then HE KICKS HER OUT! HAHA BITCH. (I mean, he does it with class, of course...this is Ben we're talking about)
She cries, "I feel like he has no idea who I am.." yeah WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?
Can we get to the two on one, please?
A storm is brewing on the island: Hurricane Olivia.
Can you imagine what a nightmare it would be to go on a two on one date with Olivia? LOL
Also, am I the only one who is just now seeing how much all of these girls really look alike?
It's kind of freaky.
Awkward car ride in that Emily and Olivia do not speak to one another. Ben picks them up on...you guessed it...NO WRONG not a helicopter: a boat.
A boat is the helicopter of the Bahamas, don't you know.
The waters are rough, literally and figuratively. Ben says he is not going to lie he is NOT looking forward to this date.
lol again
Ben says he feels like he doesn't know Emily very well, and wants to get to know her. He also says he is unsure if he knows the real Olivia...so today is the true test.
The three of them drink some wine and sit awkwardly on the beach in silence. He pulls Olivia aside first. She tells us that their "LOVE" is an "all-consuming...ever present...love."
He brings up the situation last week. She spouts some BS at him about being an introvert. AN INTROVERT? She also says she is a very confident, deep-intellectual thinker, and is into news, politics, and religion. Sighs.
"They're my jam" she says.
THEN...she tells him, "I'm in love with you."
Then he KISSES HER.
Come on, Ben.
Emily refuses to put her hair in a pony tail and tries to convince Ben that she wants to be here and she wants him to want her there...blah blah blah who knows. They do not kiss though, which I think is INTERESTING.
but happy, nice music plays. So maybe that's a good thing?
They go back and Ben thanks them both for being there.
WAIT THAT'S IT?!
This date is about to be over already?
Yikes.
He takes Olivia aside WITH the rose in his hand. Oh, god. I'm nervous. Emily thinks she is going home and is very upset that Ben is passing on a chance with her who is "genuine and caring" for someone "like Olivia."
Hmm. Methinks, there are still 18 minutes left of this episode and some shit is about to go down.
Remember when Chris sent both girls home last season?
Maybe Ben will do the same. Maybe he'll just throw the rose in the ocean and that's that.
He tells Olivia that he appreciates her and how honest she has been (?) but he's going to be NOT giving her the rose and saying goodbye. Olivia couldn't look more shocked if she tried. She looks like someone kicked her repeatedly. I mean, she did just tell the guy she loves him.
He returns and gives Emily the rose, happy and excited to continue this journey with her. Meanwhile, Olivia is looking on, completely devastated.
Back at the hotel, some camera guy comes in and grabs Olivia's bag. The girls watch on in thrill. JoJo diplomatically says, "can you imagine what Olivia is feeling right now?" as Caila tries not to smile with pure glee.
So Ben and Emily cruise off in their speed boat, leaving Olivia on this volcanic rock, abandoned and heartbroken. DAMN.
What a view.
Rose petals float off in the waves of misery.
Ben stands on a rocky shore, preparing himself for the rose ceremony. He feels "discouraged" and "alone." OH GOD, please don't jump.
I'll marry you...GLADLY. Don't worry.
He's just upset because these girls are having breakdowns because they're crazy and leaving and now his options are getting slimmer.
Papi comes in and tells them he's sorry that he's not what they were hoping for, but Ben doesn't want to see their faces and we are just going to get RIGHT TO IT.
All of the girls are freaking out. Lauren B is upset because she thinks these lies are going to affect their relationship. JoJo wanted to tell Ben she loved him tonight. OH MAN. So much is happening.
Rose Ceremony Time (in case you forgot in the midst of this episode of chaos: Amanda, Caila, and Emily have roses already)
1- Becca - she's still KICKIN'
2- JoJo - of course, I mean, come on
3- Lauren B - because obviously, she is his wife and we all know this
Thus sending Lauren H home. I feel bad. Lauren H and I got off on the wrong foot. I don't think she's terribly boring, and I feel bad for saying that. They just don't have much chemistry. It was her time.
So let's rank the Final 6, y'all!
1- Lauren B: they have their little controversy that will get solved. I AM a fan..not my personal favorite, but I really do think she'll win
2- Caila: I honestly don't want her to go this far (I know I cheered for her at first..), but I think she will. Ben really likes her, despite her inconsistent feelings.
3- Becca: I think he would take her to the final two, but won't marry her..and I can't see Ben putting her through being the final two AGAIN
4- Amanda: UGHHH I LOVE AMANDA. I want her to win. I don't think he'll keep her on though. He loves Lauren B, and that's that.
5- JoJo: I like JoJo, and I could be off about this. he may take her further..what do I know?
6- Emily: she's out next week. sorry about it.
Just some thoughts.
Losers of the week:
Olivia AAAMEN
Leah really finally got her time in the spotlight, and in the worst way possible
Lauren H
Pigs
Winners of the week:
Emily got some time in the spotlight and became American's hero. She said exactly what she needed to to get Ben to send Olivia home. Thanks girl. We tip our hats to you.
Amanda, another great week for my favorite\
America we got to say goodbye to Olivia
Number of times the word "Excited" was said:
80
Number of times I felt uncomortable:
35
Until next time,
Kaitie
xo
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