Hello everyone! Sorry that it took me two days to write this but I do have a life outside of The Bachelor. Also, I spent last night watching 'Crossroads' and 'Spartacus' because I am a multi-dimensional woman.
This week we were hashtag blessed by not only getting to watch The Bachelor one night, but TWO nights. Sunday and Monday. This show has officially taken up my entire day today.
We start off with Sunday night's episodes including a one hour "Chris Tells All" special which, to be honest, I skimmed through..at best. What I gathered from the "Tell All" is that all of the women left feel a very 'strong connection' to Chris. And Chris is really, really serious about this.
If you care nothing at all about the Tell All, you can skip over the green and head straight for the black writing. Peace and blessings.
A
lso, for some reason the producers decided it was a good idea to give Kelsey, the widow of Sanderson Poe, to have even more air time. Papa Harrison puts her on blast in his Papa Harrison way. He flat out asks her if she faked the panic attack and she said she felt "flooded."
I feel flooded every time I watch this. Flooded with pain.
Like why are they even giving her a chance to explain herself? She's an actress. She's also had time to rehearse her answers. THIS IS JUST AN AWKWARD WASTE OF MY TIME, ABC.
Papa Harrison reminds us of the absolute bat shit crazy women that have appeared on the show this season before sitting Bachelor Chris down to interview him. They re-live the most awkward, terrible two-on-one date, AGAIN. Chris defends himself saying that he didn't mean to rat Ashley out to Kelsey and that he 'clearly knows nothing about women'
Alright, Chris, you probably don't...but give yourself a little bit of credit. The women you're having to deal with are not, by any means, normal. Actually, the fact that you kept some of these women around as long as you did makes me question your sanity, as well.
They re-visit the Ashley S situation and Chris confides in Papa Harrison that he was, in fact, scared for his life around Ashley S. They also chuckled a bit about how she shouldn't have been allowed around firearms. Oh, aren't the criminally insane A HOOT? HA HA HA.
Papa Harrison reveals that Ashley S used to wander around the mansion/set when they weren't really filming, would steal from Craft Services, and stare into doors. LOL sounds like a typical Saturday night to me.
Obviously, this woman has some sort of chemical inbalance that wasn't being treated properly. That is not me being an ass hole, I really think that is the truth.
Harrison asks Chris if he liked Jillian or if he liked the shorts. Chris laughs awkwardly and says he "does not mind the shorts" and says he sent her and her ass home because he didn't find any common ground with her. So obviously, our questions are answered, and he was in it for the shorts. We revisit Juelia's sad pool party story. The woman needs a year of therapy before she can find love.
Next, we talk about the awkward moments like Jimmy Kimmel and the Love Guru. And apparently, there was a moment on Becca and Chris's date in which a donkey is traveling with them on their horseback riding time and the donkey (named Sully) takes off. It scares the horses and it's just a really awkward moment. I'm glad they didn't put it in the episode because those episodes are hard enough for me to get through comfortably.
They talk about Becca a little bit and Chris is all goo-goo ga-ga. Whatever. As expected. They talk about the terrible Deadwood date from last week and Chris tries to defend himself and his decision...
which was a bad one.
THEN Bachelorette Andi gets interviewed by Papa Harrison. In case any of you have BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK...she and her winner, Josh split up and called off their engagement. So basically, the interview plays off like a fucking funeral. She's weepy and crying from the beginning. Harrison sends condolences like Josh is dead. It is pretty sad, I'll give her that. She seems genuinely heartbroken. And she also cries...like, the entire time...and her makeup stays looking PERFECT. I hate television.
They probably were all happy and lovey until her season was on TV and then he got PISSED. Who wouldn't? How could you watch 'the love of your life' makeout and have connections with a ton of other people?
These relationships are doomed to fail.
Except Catherine and Sean BLESSINGS TO THEM...hope for the best.
Alright.
So after we sit through the COMPLETELY POINTLESS 'Chris Tells All' we can get to the FIRST PART OF THE FOUR HOUR EPISODE.
We start off this week's episode where we left off in Deadwood, South Dakota.
Bachelor Chris talks about his 'great group date' with the girls...but um, was he in that room after he returned with Britt? Because I wasn't, but I felt the tension and terrible-ness.
Megan pulls Chris aside at the cocktail party and basically tells him that she doesn't think they've had a strong connection and wants to know how he feels about it. He sighs heavily, says this is getting hard, and then says he doesn't feel a connection with her.
WHAT?!
Wait. What is going on?
He's walking her out.
Megan is leaving?
Does she realize she is leaving? is the more important question. Because I'm pretty sure she's slightly confused all the time and really needs someone to guide her through this process.
The other women are shocked. But I'm not. No offense to Megan, but I'm surprised as hell she made it this far. Also, is there a reason she never has a part in her hair??
His top girls are exactly who I predicted, BTW. (sassy girl emoji)
Papa Harrison comes in, clinks his glass, and informs everyone that there will STILL be a rose ceremony.
WHAT THE FUCK?
Nooooo.
This is so stupid.
We just lost three girls.
All the women are asking Carly how she feels, because everyone knows that she'll go home during this next rose ceremony, apparently?
I mean, IDK...it could be Jade..let's not jump the gun here.
This episode is already so weird and it's been ten minutes.
CAN SOMEONE POUR ME SOME MORE PINOT?
OH BUT WAIT.
Bachelor Chris comes back in to see the girls, sighs heavily, and tells them there will be no rose ceremony...but they will be going to Iowa/meeting his family. So that may be worse.
joking.
The girls are staying at the nicest hotel in Des Moines, which Whitney the Sperm Nurse refers to as "adorable" because there are no hotels in Arlington.
Princess Jade gets the first one-on-one date and also learns that she'll be meeting Chris's family. Everyone pretends to be happy. Except for Hollywood Britt who tells her that she's "happy for her" but also "very very jealous" because that is "a goodtime that [she] could be having."
Eh. Awkward.
So Jade goes to the farm where Chris is talking to his cows. That's not a joke. He actually was.
Jade seems overwhelmed by the idea of a farm life.
OKAY.
Did these girls think he was joking around when he became the Bachelor and said he was a farmer? He is a real, actual farmer. In a town of 400 people.
That is no fucking joke.
I've said this from day one: every single woman on this show should have been prepared to move to Iowa for him when they SIGNED UP.
Yeah, yeah I understand girl power and why should he dictate where they live blah blah...and I'm as feminist as the next person, but Chris is established on his farm. It's his passion, it's a lifestyle. He's not going to leave for anyone if he hasn't already. That was part of the deal. It's why Andi didn't choose him.
Every Bachelor/ette has their little thing, Andi's was her high paced career...Juan Pablo's was his child...Sean's was his born again virginity.
Anyway. I'm rambling.
To the date! ONWARD!
Chris greets Jade happily. Jade says she knows what it is like to be from a small town and knows not to glamorize it like some of the other girls might *cough cough Britt end cough*
Chris shows Jade around his house which is pretty nice, but needs a 'feminine touch.' Jade seems happy and open-minded to learn about his farming.
He takes her into town, which is basically abandoned. There are maybe two open businesses. It's actually pretty sad and telling about the state of small town America in 2015. Jade tries to act excited but Chris doesn't make it easy. She feels that he is insecure about his town, which he definitely is. It's just a weird situation.
The gray weather and wind doesn't help make ti feel more homey, either.
Chris takes Jade to his former high school's football game, thus re-living his glory days. She meets some of his people. IT'S PRETTY CUTE.
OMG she meets his mom and dad! This is WILD. At the high school football game!
Then they go inside the high school. Is this allowed?? They sit in his former English classroom. Jade talks about her rebellious days when she was younger...*cough cough* PLAYBOY MODEL *cough cough*
She didn't tell him though. Not yet at least.
But she will.
Just maybe not in his former classroom.
IT'S ALWAYS THE QUIET ONES.
They makeout against the lockers. Dude, whoever's locker that is is probably freaking out right now.
Chris: "It's pretty crazy to makeout with Jade outside of my old English classroom. Although, what we're doing doesn't have much to do with English..it's more French."
HAHAHA GOOD ONE.
Even though his team loses, Chris comes out a winner. The crowd cheers them on to kiss in the middle of the field, which they oblige to. It's all very 'Never Been Kissed' to me.
Meanwhile, back at the hotel the girls are pissy and jealous. Britt is particularly upset. She wants to see Arlington because she thinks he is going to pick her to win and if she hasn't even seen this farm town, how is she going to make a wise decision?
Whitney gets the second one-on-one date. Everyone acts happy for her.
They spend the day in Des Moines. So she doesn't get the Arlington treatment. They go to some art gallery and decide to take some pictures of their love around Des Moines. They spend the whole day roaming about, kissing a lot...a lot. While taking pictures of it.
Meanwhile, back at the hotel...the girls are all sitting around talking as they always do. Jade tells them about her and Chris's date. She talks about Arlington and then says she met his parents, then she tells them about the kissing in the middle of the football field and Britt starts fucking crying like a drama queen. It's embarrassing to watch. She must be passionate about the film 'Never Been Kissed' too.
My point is. She has no right to be mad. She got to makeout with Chris during a Big and Rich concert..so..yeah. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL, BRITT.
Carly talks mad shit about Britt in her interview, as usual.
Carly and the girls decide they want to road trip to Arlington for the day.
Yeah, I can't see anything going wrong with this.
Back to Whitney's date.
They bond and are cute. They kiss some more.
Back to the road trip.
The girls are NOT enthused. In fact, they are perplexed greatly by Arlington as a whole.
Also, why is Britt sitting in the middle of the backseat when there are only four of them. Becca is probably like "ugh, hop off me.." especially if Britt hasn't showered.
They talk to a few of the locals who inform them that what they are seeing is what they will get.
The girls have their little tour of town and then return to their hotel. They are all talking and Britt says she thought Arlington was "depressing" but she liked the sunset over the farmland, therefore she changed her mind and could totally see herself living there. Kaitlyn and Carly have major issue with this.
OKAY let's finish off Whitney's date now.
They eat dinner at a nice, hip Des Moines restaurant. She gets to meet three of his best friends. And she is super excited. One of his friends asks Whitney point blank if she loves him. UHHH.
They then ask her if she is ready to move to Iowa. She says that she wouldn't have even signed up for this show if she was hesitant about moving to Iowa.
FINALLY. I mean, isn't this the point?
Also, they're all so wasted right now.
Whitney opens up to Chris about her family dynamic, telling him JUST NOW that her mother passed away and her father is not apart of her life. Hmm. Interesting. A woman in this competition who doesn't use her tragedies as a leg up to get ahead. HOW REFRESHING.
She tells him she doesn't want any sympathy and this is just who she is. And gosh, you know, mad respect. I just really wish her voice wasn't so high. Otherwise she is my favorite.
She also talks about what SHE WANTS out of the man she marries. WHICH IS A FIRST. Usually they just ask about the Bachelor/ette like it's ALL about them.
She just has her shit together and I r-e-s-p-e-c-t that.
So Chris ends the date with a nice surprise, a mural of them from their pictures from earlier up outside. Whitney is cutely surprised and tries not to cry. They hug it out.
IF HE DOESN'T PICK HER (OR BECCA) I QUIT.
Britt, Kaitlyn, and Carly get the group date card leaving Becca to have the one-on-one. Everyone is slightly shocked because Kaitlyn's gone the longest time without having a one-on-one and everyone thought she was getting it. Kaitlyn tries to hide her disappointment.
Carly has another feisty interview about Britt, making fun of her rose colored lipstick and the fact that she's a total liar. I'm not going to lie, I know I complained about Carly's shit talking before but I must admit she's pretty funny.
Jade feels like she needs to get a weight off of her chest so she goes to our homegirl Carly. She tells her that she posed nude for Playboy a few years back. No doubt during her rebellious stage. Carly is as supportive as you possibly can be as someone's competition.
Carly, Kaitlyn, and Britt go on their group date at the hockey arena where they are going to ice skate,
WHICH IS MY NIGHTMARE.
I seriously hate ice skating.
ugh, ugh, ugh like I'm having a really hard time watching this in fear that someone will fall. They are not trained professionals.
Chris falls like twelve times, probably damaging his testicles. Hopefully he marries Whitney so she can help him with his future fertility problems.
Britt, of course, wants to steal him away for a few minutes. She kisses him wildly, saying that she's missed him. She reveals that she and the gals took a roadtrip to Arlington. Chris is immediately nervous. Britt claims that she "LOVED IT" and it was so pretty blah blah. Kaitlyn and Carly know her too well and are throwing major shade inside the hockey arena.
If Britt is lying (which I'm pretty sure she is), what is the point? Like what will she get out of this? She knows how this ends...correct?
"I'm so excited to bring her to Arlington. She's so dynamic, and together we can create such a special life." [UNDER MY TERMS! YEEHAW!] - Chris, basically assuring everyone that he is picking Britt.
Carly decides that enough is enough and confronts Chris about Britt and her lying. Carly tells Chris what Britt actually said about Arlington being small and terrible and how Britt could never live there. Carly begins to get emotional and tells him to "be careful" because she is "really freaked out" for him. Yeah, I'm sure this has nothing to do with the fact that YOU WANT THE ROSE.
But it's fine.
Unlike other bachelors in history, Chris takes this shit talking seriously and decides he will confront Britt.
So the gals and Chris go to a restaurant where they drink and eat and talk awkwardly over the sound of trains apparently. We skip ahead to the juicy shit when Chris takes Britt aside. She takes this as an opportunity to talk about her hometown date, which she thinks she has in the bag. Chris asks her to tell him straight up what she wants. She says it doesn't matter where she lives, but she wants to be a mom.
THIS IS A STRONG FUCKING STATEMENT.
There's a difference between being a mom in L.A., being a mom in a small town in Ohio, and being a farm town mom..OKAY? Like give moms more credit.
They don't just sit home all day playing with their babies and making brownies for their husband.
Kaitlyn and Chris have some time together. She confides in him that she is worried and nervous about the process. She feels a 'step behind' everyone else. Don't blame her. He doesn't take her seriously...point blank. I like Kaitlyn, and I think she really likes him and is fun..but I think he's keeping her around knowing he won't pick her, and that kind of sucks. If he took her seriously, he should have given he the one-on-one.
HE DOES GIVE HER THE ROSE THOUGH.
whoooooaaa! Maybe I take that back. IDK.
I'm surprised but also relieved.
Although, does Kaitlyn want to live in Iowa?
We'll get to that later.
Meanwhile, Britt and Carly are sitting there in awkward silence. Britt is fuming. She's about four five seconds from wildin.
Ominous music plays.
Chris spews out the usual lines. Britt is like "don't", sighs heavily, cracks her knuckles. I'm not kidding. That actually happened. Britt decides to take this time as an open forum to talk about how confused and hurt she is. Did I mention this is not in the diary room interview? This is on the couch in front of Carly and Kaitlyn and Chris.
Britt is the most fucking dramatic person.
I get it. She tells him that she doesn't want to be the "second, third, fourth" person in her future husband's eyes. I don't blame her. That is a NORMAL emotion. She is allowed to be pissed about that.
THEN. DON'T. COME. ON. THIS. SHOW.
I repeat.
DON'T COME ON THIS SHOW!
And don't sit there, all high and mighty, dramatic as hell, doing this in front of everyone. Like talk to him privately! How annoying.
Kaitlyn tells Britt as calmly as humanly possible that she's a shitty person and isn't the only person going through this process. Britt is acting like this is all about her and her journey. Talk about selfish.
I do get it, and I do feel bad for Britt in a way. This is her story, too. But she's so manipulative and full of herself, it's unappealing.
Carly says "even if I go home, so long as Britt is gone too, I will feel as if I've done my duty"
Good Lord.
OKAY THAT'S WHERE THEY LEAVE US.......
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
NOW PART II - Monday's Episode
The episode begins with peeps in Des Moines. Chris is in deep thought about how he wants to proceed. But luckily, he gets to have some fun with Becca on their one-on-one. Becca AKA MAH GIRL aka the cool virgin.
Chris takes Becca to his loft in Des Moines, which apparently he has. NICE. Why didn't I know this before?
The keyword to this date is: casual.
Becca reveals that she has never said the words "I love you"/has never been in love and hello HI, same! Like thank you, Becca, for showing that it is not abnormal to be in your 20s and have never been in love. Not everyone can be like Britt who is basically saying it after a week on this show.
They go on the rooftop to watch the sunset and it's very romantic and non dramatic.
Meanwhile, the girls are back at the hotel talking smack as per usual. Britt comes out and tells them that she has packed her bags and plans to leave before the rose ceremony. The girls are like "why?"
Britt goes "um basically because I had an emotional breakdown..and don't you all want me gone..?"
She is wearing so much fucking makeup. Like, does she work at MAC...or the circus?
She starts crying again and is all "I feel like you all are being so antagonistic right now"
Yes, Britt, often times when girls get into a competition for love, they're quite shallow and will get jealous and bitchy. This is what happens. Also, you're annoying, so don't expect everyone to like you all the time.
*cue montage of all the girls getting ready/applying another thick layer of makeup*
Papa Harrison arrives at the hotel and tells them that there will be no cocktail party, just straight to the rose ceremony with you!
This seems a little odd.
Chris has cancelled more cocktail parties than any bachelor I've ever seen.
Doesn't he want to clear the air with Britt? ODD.
Is it just me or does this rose ceremony look like it was filmed as a Days of Our Lives scene? Like very soap-opery camera angles and lighting.
NOT A FAN.
Before the ceremony starts, Britt cuts him off, asking for a minute, pulls him aside. She spews off her BS. The girls, meanwhile are pissed off at Britt, as USUAL. They say she's only doing this to either get the chance to leave him before he leaves her or get validation that she is still #1 (which she really isn't)
Chris isn't a huge fan of the convo. He tells her that he and others think she's fake. Britt tries to defend herself but she can't. He also basically sells out Carly, as he sold out Ashley. THE DAMAGE IS DONE.
He tells her that he'll walk her out, and so he does. They part with a dramatic kiss and hug. She cries like a maniac, as expected.
Dramatic sad music ensues.
Britt is very hurt by Carly's backstabbing ways. So hurt that she allows her mascara to run.
The other girls, particularly Carly, have zero percent sympathy, and YEEIKES. Kinda harsh.
I feel for Britt, it sucks when you're used to being the center of attention and then you are suddenly not..I guess, not that I would really know that feeling when it comes to men admiring me, but whatever.
But she wasn't about to move her ass to Iowa. Shoulders up, girl! Get on with your damn life. Maybe pursue an acting career like you've always dreamed.
The rose ceremony finally commences.
Whitney gets the first rose (aside from Kaitlyn who got the group date rose), Becca gets the second rose, and Jade gets the final rose.
Thus, he sends Carly home.
After all that.
Carly gets a little karmic retribution.
Also, she DID say so long as Britt went home, she didn't mind leaving so long as her job was done.
In the end, I didn't dislike Carly as much as I originally did, though. I feel bad for her. She was a definite underdog in this competition.
Also, I would like to say that these after rejection limo rides are THE WORST. I've never heard women sound more downtrodden and humiliated about their self worth.
LIKE DAMN GIRL COME ON.
You're gorgeous! Be you!
NOW moving on.
It's time for the hometown dates.
We start with Becca in Louisiana. And her shirt is adorable, fyi. They go on a boat ride lookin' for some gators in the bayou. Becca informs Chris that she's never brought a man home before. He shits his pants accordingly.
So Chris meets her large family. He's super charming as usual. Becca's older sister, in typical in older sister fashion, acts annoying and takes the reigns on the conversation..also pointing out her younger sister's flaws. Becca's sister pulls Chris aside to talk. She continues to rip on Becca saying that Becca is not intimate at all. Damn, she's really a pain in the ass if you ask me. Becca is the prettier, younger sister, so that's probably got something to do with it is all I'm saying. Becca's mother expresses similar doubts about Becca not being an intimate person.
Damn. Her family realllllllly wants him to know about Becca's inexperience.
She doesn't really seem to have trouble cuddling up to him on their secret ferris wheel ride, though. JUST SAYING. I think Chris is in love with Becca. I really do. And I think she loves him, too.
Damn, I hope he picks her. (or Whitney)
Speaking of!
Time for Whitney's hometown date.
Chris arrives in a nice and windy Chicago. Whitney decides to give Chris a tour of Whitney's life. As a sperm nurse, she tells Chris that they're going to make a baby. HAHA JOKES.
Chris puts on some scrubs and looks super sexy IMO. She shows him what she does, and he sees how rewarding her career is. Whit shows him the 'specimen room' in which guys jizz into a cup. Chris is a bit nervous that Whit is about to test his sperm aka finds this hometown date to be verrrry odd all of the sudden. She's got him going that he's going to be getting his sperm tested...but then she tells him she was only yanking his chain.
HAHA.
They go on to meet Whit's family. Chris takes a moment to ask Whit who he should ask for her hand. Which is CRAZY. He didn't do that for Becca's fam...oh boy!
Chris sits down with her Uncle Johnny who is basically a father to her while Whit talks to her older sister who is concerned about her living in Arlington. Much like Becca's older sister, Whit's sister is doubtful and cynical about the situation. She says she will not give her blessing unless she is assured that Whitney is the one and only and not just one of four girls. WHICH R-E-S-P-E-C-T my friends.
Maybe it's not what Whit wants to hear...but it's fucking logical.
Chris and Whit talk about the date after and Whit is upset at her sister. Chris assures her that everything is going to be okay.
Whitney then presents this wine bottle of emotions. She says that she bought this expensive wine years ago to share with the man she is going to marry. She then begins to get emotional and tears up as she reveals her feelings for Chris--aka that she loves him.
AND HOLD ON DID I JUST SHED A TEAR OVER THE BACHELOR?
YUP.
I DID.
'I've fallen in love with you' OMG OMG OMG TEARS. I'M CRYING.
Why?
Why am I crying?
I hate myself.
And, I hate you, wine bottle of emotions.
Next, we go on Kaitlyn's hometown date in Phoenix, Arizona. She takes him into some recording studio. They are going to LAY DOWN SOME MOTHAFUCKIN TRACKS.
She wants him to write and record a rap, and I am about ready to weep for America.
So they record it, and it's really really really bad. I mean, like I'm rolling around on my floor with discomfort.
After that mess. We meet Kaitlyn's family and their cute Canadian accents. They are very welcoming to Chris as opposed to the last two families who seemed more hesitant.
Her mother does, though, seem very concerned with Kaitlyn's heart. Her mom says she sees a light in Kaitlyn's eyes. Also, does she remind anyone else of Miley Cyrus??
Why am I just now seeing this?
Kaitlyn takes him out after their dinner to a billboard where she has had written "Kaitlyn <3's Chris"
OK. Is that her way of telling him?
I guess that's a good first step. A lot of I 'heart' you's going on. I feel transported back to freshman year of high school.
OH MY GOD IS THIS EPISODE OVER YET?
Alright. If you've made it this far, then thank you.
Are we ready for Jade's hometown date?
Finally, we are in Gering, Nebraska. Chris is very attached to the idea of Jade and her small town roots/values...but Jade does live in L.A., she is a model, and has shot for Playboy. I wouldn't consider that super normal for a small town girl, but what do I know?
She shows him around her boring little town..not as boring as his town, or mine for that matter, but it's fine. We then meet her family and her younger brothers are big fans of the striped polo look. Chris gives Jade a letterman's jacket from his highschool casually in front of her entire family.
Clever, Chris. Clever.
Chris talks to Jade's dad about her values and how happy he is with her. Her dad is basically like "well, she's kind of wild, actually" and there's a side to her Chris hasn't seen.
Chris then talks to her brothers who are hesitant towards Chris because they think their sister hasn't been completely honest with Chris. Chris begins to realize he doesn't know Jade's wild side/Jade at all, really. Typical man putting a woman on a pedestal...
Also, how could he truly know her in this short amount of time? If you're not a simple person, and are multi-dimensional this show probably isn't the best way to meet someone you marry.
BUT I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT I KNEW SHE WASN'T THE SMALL TOWN GIRL WE ALL THOUGHT from the beginning when she was making out with him in her bikini and heels in his bed that second week. I KNEW. I'M JUST SAYING.
I KNOW YOU, GIRL.
that's all.
Jade is very nervous to tell Chris about her past. I don't think her posing for Playboy is a big deal..? I mean, come on. let it go, people.
Do I, however, think she could settle down and move to Iowa and be a housewife? No. I absolutely do not.
She awkwardly tells him the truth, and he has the weirdest reaction ever. Like you can see the wheels working in his brain. She tells him that she can show him some of the photos.
Chris gets all red and is like "uh, uh...well this is about you...if it makes you more comfortable..then I mean..sure, I guess.."
AGHHHH. I'M UNCOMFORTABLE.
I think giving Whit his sperm would've been more comfortable than this is currently.
He is unsure of how to handle it. He doesn't know if he should be looking or not, which he probably shouldn't be most likely.
LOL what a way to end a family, hometown date, girl.
Chris responds honorably that he doesn't think any differently about her, and that she shouldn't be ashamed..and that it's nothing that would affect their relationship. He says he likes her as a person and respects her. *TEARS*
Good response, bro. [thumbs up]
Jade tearfully smiles and it's all very emotional.
I hope when I one day tell my possible fiance that I posed for Playboy that he will respond in a similar way.
Except for the whole I didn't pose for Playboy, and I will probably never actually find someone who wishes to marry me *shoves third donut in mouth*
ALRIGHT TIME FOR THE ROSES!
Chris says he is falling in love with multiple women.
Oh, brother..
Who is going home..who is going home...I REALLY DON'T KNOW!
He first says that this is the toughest night ever before giving the first rose to our girl, Whitney straight outta Fern Gully. The second rose goes to Kaitlyn, the funnest Canadian ever who resembles Miley Cyrus suddenly to me. And the third/final rose...EEEKKK: BECCA PLEASE?!
goes to....
Becca!
THANK. GOD.
Awe, Jade :(
I'm sorry girl. That really sucks. I'm emotionally attached to everyone left now, you guys. But honestly...she wasn't ready to move to Iowa. She's a wild mustang as her brother said.
And apparently the playboy thing did bother Chris.
That, and her WILD SIDE.
Seeing Jade cry is like watching a bullied child getting kicked. I FEEL AWFUL.
WILL SOMEONE PLEASE POUR ME MORE PINOT?!
Damn. We have said goodbye to a lot of girls the past two episodes. AMIRIGHT?
Chris cries as he sends her away in the rejection limo.
Alright y'all. It's time to start taking bets!
My final bet:
60% chance it'll be
Whitney - I mean, she is the ONLY one in which Chris wanted to know if he could have permission to marry from her sister. Plus, they have a great connection. She's got a good head on her shoulders, and clearly WANTS to move to Iowa.
30% chance it'll be
Becca - I love Becca. I would like her to win. I think she is another one of the 'real' girls on this show. Smalltown, smart, virgin, good girl who doesn't take herself too seriously. But Whit's just got the leg up, IMO.
10% chance it'll be
Kaitlyn - I like Kaitlyn. She's funny, fun, and real, but I cannot foresee Chris picking her as his wife. She's not serious about moving to Iowa if you ask me, and she's been kind of on the backburner the entire season. She is a girl I think Chris would have loved to date, but ultimately not going anywhere. Possible next Bachelorette? that would be fun IMO.
But hey.
That's just this girl's opinion.
If you've made it through this blog which just took ME FOUR FUCKING HOURS...then thank you. and have a nice night.
See you next week.
Until then,
Kaitie
xo
