Betchy Bachelorette Monday: Episode 6

Hello everyone.
Let's cut the crap, and get to it.



This week we're in Venice, and we are not messing around.
The gents show up on some speed boat, ready for the party, in various scarves.
Cody is determined to get the one-on-one this week and I cannot believe we're still taking him seriously.
Andi is "so excited" to be here and it is "so romantic" and "unbelievable."



Music gets serious, no date card, Andi is calling the shots right to your face, right now...THIS INSTANT. Cody gets DENIED and she gives the first one-on-one to Average Guy Nick V. Eugh.
Cody is verrrrry upset as he is the only one who hasn't gotten a one-on-one thusfar. I don't really blame him. He says he feels as if he is the pet dog of the group, and drug along. Well, if the shoe fits...
Awe, no Cody, I'm only kidding.
But at least the hotel is absolutely gorgeous. The travel and nice hotels are the only reason I would go on this show. That, and the dozens of bulky men vying for my love and attention.
Anyways. On to Nick.
They walk around Venice together and feed pigeons and stuff.


Bachelorette Andi claims she is taking Nick on the date only because she needs "some questions answered" because she heard about the shit he is stirring in the house. But what does she actually think Nick is going to say? We all know he's only going to feed her the bull shit she wants to hear. He's had time to think about it...so...I don't know what she's trying to do here?
Apparently Andi still really likes how "upfront" he is with her and decides to forgive him of being a complete douchebag.
So they're on this gondala and Andi is thirsty for a kiss, which obviously he gives to her under some good luck bridge or something, and she feels "absolutely resolved" yet directly follows that statement with "I have so many questions I need answered from Nick."
Okay, honey, that means things aren't absolutely resolved. Just letting you know. You don't have to talk just to make sound.
OH MY GOD if she says "romantic" or "unbelievable" or "I definitely still have questions that need to be answered" one more FUCKING TIME...
Andi straight up asks him if he thinks he is a front runner. Nick responds, in more words, yes.
Nick tells her that he can "confidently say" that he is falling in love with her.
Of course, Nick finds some nerdy euphamism for the masks they wear to the "masquerade" ballroom...(rolls eyes emoji) says he is unmasking his true feelings to Andi blah blah blah
#vomit



Before the group date can take place Bachelorette Andi gets her third secret love letter (I only remember one other one? Maybe I'm wrong) from the SA. Who we all know is most likely Needy Marcus.
So the boys show up, looking good. PS JJ, you're looking very good. Even in weird pants, I'd do you.
They do what every normal group of American, red blooded men, enjoy doing and go watch a creepy puppet show? Along with dozens of Italian children.
Next, they go into some torture chamber. Which doesn't sound romantic, but it sure is sexy. *WINK*
Andi brings in some mobsters to do a lie detector test.
SEXY!!!
Farmer Chris says he has a secret he needs to tell her.
#IAmNervous because #ILoveChris because #TEAMIOWA
Josh is prettttty nervous/sweaty about this test. I'm pretty sure, for some reason, Andi really doesn't trust him. So maybe this is the reason he is so nervous. I don't blame her for not trusting him. There is no WAY THAT GUY HASN'T HAD SEX IN FIVE YEARS.
"Are you here for the right reasons?"
"Do you prefer blondes over brunettes?"
"Have you slept with more than 20 women?" (Dylan says 'yes'...WHAT?!)
ASKING THE TOUGH QUESTIONS
Dylan goes home because he feels "sicky"
Which means he knows he lost the lie detector test game.




ATTENTION ATTENTION FARMER CHRIS IT THE SA!!!!
OMG YOU BEAUTIFUL, CUTE, ADORABLE MAN!
I love him. I love him. Yes, I do. I am so glad it's not Marcus. AHHHH. This is the best possible outcome!
As we learn this, I am totally freaking out and my dad walks in, thinking there is something wrong.
When I tell my dad that my favorite guy is the one who has been writing Andi love notes he just dead pans me "how romantic" then proceeds to ask me if these men "have any testicles."
My father also continues to make fun of Andi, saying she is obsessed with trust even though she is the one making out with different guys every hour.
"Trust in trust, and trust is everything to me. Trust is trust, this is a world of trust. I want to trust."
Alright, thanks for the input dad.
I can never watch this show in his presence ever again.

Wait, so Andi doesn't even want to look at the results?! She just ripped them up???
WHAT?!
That's some bull shit.
So you make these guys sweat it out?
I would at least keep them to read for later in the bubble bath back at the hotel or something!!! Come on, Andi!!!!
What a spoilsport.



At the cocktail party, Basketball Brian pulls Andi aside first and gives her his own little adorable lie detector test. It's all very cute and kind of pointless.
Marcus takes her aside next and says he doesn't know how to handle the other guys there, sounding like a fucking murderer. Like he might kill them all to eliminate the competition. Marcus tells her he is in love with her, again. EUGH. Tells her that he thought about leaving because he "can't handle it" but that "she was worth staying." How nice.
Meanwhile, Josh, JJ, and Chris are talking about the secret admirer. JJ and Josh are totally shit talking the guy, while Chris is just kind of like laughing and nodding...CLEARLY THE SA. Like, we should've all seen this before.
Josh and Andi have their time together. Josh informs her that he didn't like or appreciate the lie detector thing because of how important trust is. He feels like she was targeting him with the test, I guess. Andi acts blindsided, doesn't understand why he is so upset about the lie detector test. Because if the roles were reversed, she'd be totally fine with someone LD testing her...
yeah.
PS Josh, I don't KNOW about that scarf right now, bro. Meaning, I hate that I love it.



Andi starts crying for no reason, typical.
Chris takes Andi aside and acts all nervous and cute as he admits he is indeed the one who is the secret admirer. She says "I KNEW IT!" but like, I don't think she did. I think we all honestly thought it was Marcus. Even her.
She gives the date rose to Chris for being AMAZING.
Andi then peaces out because she's very tired from all the stress.
Yet, all the guys stay? I didn't know they stayed after..?
JJ says that he is not actually happy for Chris getting the rose, and that this is a competition and how this needs to be more serious. WOMP WOMP.
looks like someone has been drinking a little too much champagne....
Brian is like "can't we all just get along and just focus on Andi?" and JJ shoots him down.
Chris steps up to plate and tells JJ to stop being such a whiney, competitive little bitch.




AND I LOVE IT.
Chris and Brian win, always.



Next we travel to  the beautiful Verona with Bachelorette Andi (who is soooo drained from last night's group date #sorryforyou) and Cody.
Andi says she has been waiting to take Cody on a date basically because she doesn't take him seriously, but in nicer words.
Cody is very verrrryyy pumped to be there.


They go to visit Juliet's courtyard, and of course, Cody takes the opportunity to act out a scene of Romeo and Juliet...well, sort of, in very modern language.
They go to answer some letters from hopeless romantics around the world written to Juliet. Which is actually really, really cute to me.
Too bad I can't stop thinking about that terrible Amanda Seyfried movie about this...
Cody steps up today and I feel pretty bad about calling him Roided Macklemore all those times.
Well, only a little bad.
Although Cody decides to use the 'underdog' angle, which you know is BS because he definitely beat up kids on his bus back in the day.
What I proclaim "the season of letters" continues at dinner when Cody writes Andi a letter. Which is actually pretty cute.
Andi ruins it by being obnoxious and going "Awwwwwe!" really loud.
And then.......
Cody goes a little too far/gets a little too emotional opening up way too much saying he wants to grab her and hold her and roll around with her and meet her family. He says he wants her to get to know him because he knows she will fall in love with him. Blah blah.
Cody comes off too strong, as usual.
Andi can't handle it, starts bawling, and tells him she can't continue with this charade.
So she sends him home. No rose for Macklemore :(
The ceiling did hold him.
It's kind of a bummer considering how absolutely pumped he was for his one-on-one, but he put himself out way too much, IMO.



Cocktail party/Rose Ceremony time. LEGGO.
The second Andi walks in, Nick walks up to her, handing her a drink, ready to go. Even though he already has a rose.
"That's a man right there!" she says, all horned up. Yet if some girl did that on her season she'd be PISSED.
The boys are like "hell no, Dylan, go get her!" Dylan? YOU GO.
Then they confront Nick about what a douche he is.
Everyone takes a turn kissing Andi.
Brian reads her a poem he wrote (IN A LETTER), which he ripped off of Ten Things I Hate About You, by the way.
Josh finally gets his time and Andi says she "Didn't like" how their last conversation went.
Apparently, it all had to be sappy sunshine and daisies with her. But not too much, or you'll be hitting the road like Cody.



CHarrison makes his first appearance in Venice! Hey man!


"Did you have a good week?" he asks
"Ummm. I had an OKAY week," she replies.
Once again, Andi cannot count her blessings. She's in this gorgeous city, gorgeous country that's so "unbelievable" and "romantic" but it still isn't good enough for our Andi. She is so "tired" and "exhausted" of all of this! You guys, she is "trying so hard!!!"
Poor, poor baby.
Enough talking. Shut up Andi.
Time for some motherfucking roses.
(ps I am calling it now, she is giving Josh the last rose to keep him on his toes tonight. We'll see if I'm right.)

Here we go:
(Andi continues to talk more...talking about the questions she needs answered again...does anything ever get resolved with her?)
1- Dylan (he looks as surprised as we all are that he got the first rose, nympho)
2- Basketball Brian
3- Needy Marcus
4- Josh (CALLED IT)

Thus, she sends an emotional JJ home, back to make his pants. JJ takes a moment to say goodbye to his bro's that he claims to hate. She takes him outside to awkwardly break up with him. He says, in the car of rejection, how he has never been in love before. Which is actually pretty sad.

NEXT WEEK....BRUSSELS! Brussels? Nick being a douchebag! Again!

Winners of the week:
Farmer Chris for being a stand up guy and coming out as the SA. Basketball Brian for being cheesy yet cute. The lie detector test guys for leaving the guns and taking the cannoli. Dylan for sleeping with more than 20 women.

Losers of the week:
Josh for having actual concerns. JJ for getting too whiney. Cody for getting too crazy.

Hottie of the week:
I'm giving this W to Josh for being the only one to look remotely okay in the douche scarf.

STAWWWWP Count:
None that I know of, but can we do a "some questions I need answered" option instead, because if so, she said that about 11 times.

Until next week,
Kaitie

xo

Betchy Bachelorette Monday: Episode 5

Good evening everyone.

As we've had a hiatus last week, I'll try to make this blog somewhat decent, but I make no promises.
Here we go.



WE IN FRANCE TONIGHT, Y'ALL!





"It's, like, the perfect place to fall in love," Andi says, as she has said every week previously.
The men are all very pumped also, with the exception of Andrew, who comes out like the pretentious nerd that he is and says "I've hung out in Saint Tropez and Monaco...but at least this time I get to be with Andi."
Alright, buddy. That's nice. Way to make yourself more likeable.

CHarrison finds Andi and looks absolutely stunning in a turtleneck/sports jacket combo. Wow, very European CHarrison! Glad to see you're branching out!
Their conversation went as follows:
Chris: Are you falling in love?
Andi: STAAAAAHHHWP
Chris: Are you?
Andi: (smiles slyly)
Chris: Is it just one guy?
Andi: No.





WHAT?!
How can you fall in love with multiple people? And please tell me you are not falling in love with Needy Marcus.
Anywhooo.

Josh, the former pro-balla, gets the first one-on-one date card and all the other guys are butt hurt. But not one is more hurt by this than Andrew. And I don't see why, since he's actually shown no interest in Andi this entire time IMO.
So Bachelorette Andi takes Josh for a stroll about the city. They walk around and do boring shit like buying sandwiches. JK I WOULD TOTALLY LOVE THAT!
Josh and Andi then proceed to engage in what I assume is supposed to be "Flirty Conversation"
Suddenly they are on a yacht with really, really overly aggressive epic music.
Andi shows her doubts about dating an athlete (because I guess athletes are all exactly the same? and how many professional athletes have you dated Andi? And if it is a lot, where do you hang out? And can you invite me?)
"I always date these athlete types and it never works out," she says. OOOKAY Andi, I feel really, really sorry for that you always have to date athletic guys. Life must be hard.
I'm lucky if a 60 year old hits on me at a gas station!
To assure her that he's not a playa playa, Josh starts, like, mumbling in Andi's jacket...which is, you know, a little off putting. Is it really cold there or something?
Why am I having flashbacks of being uncomfortable at some crowded bar with a creepy guy breathing down my neck?
Just me?
Okay.
"I'm still trying to figure Josh out," Andi claims. Okay, that is understandable...considering you've known him for a month and haven't really spent any time alone together...
That's totally normal. Don't worry.
They go have dinner at a palace then. Which is not that impressive. The Bachelor/ette sets standards wayyy too high for us now.
Alright I'M ONLY JOKING. The palace is nice.
I feel like once you're done talking about sports with Josh, there would be nothing really all that interesting to talk about. In typical fashion, Andi tries to deepen shit up and ask him about his past. YAWN.
"I feel like I've known you, like, so long...in such, like, a good way," Josh tells her (I quote verbatim)...yikes.
Andi brings up the five year situation in which Josh claims he hasn't been with a woman seriously in 5 years. And in this way, I can see her having her doubts...because, I mean, look at him.
There's no denying those huge, pearly whites.


It's at this boring point in the date that I come to the realization if you just listen to the audio of the show and don't actually watch it how extremely boring their conversations, and also you can literally hear the bull shit.
Then finally, the annoying dinner is over and it's AWKWARD PRIVATE CONCERT TIME?!
Wait, haven't they already filleld their awkward private concert time for the season?!
Andi must love music..
Anyways...it's really...romantic...?
Shit the bed, I'm out of moscato....ALREADY.
Actual conversation between Josh and Andi:
J: Awesome.
A: Good.
J: I'm so happy with you.
A: Good.
J: I can't stop smiling at you.
A: Aww...
J: Wow.
A: This is awesome.



And I'll leave you with that snore fest.

NOW IT GETS GOOD BECAUSE IT'S GROUP DATE TIME Y'ALL!
The invite comes and IT'S A TRICK CARD aka it's blank.
So we know some weird shit is about to go down.
(PS SIDE NOTE: Has anyone else noticed Andi starts 65% of her sentences with "To me.."?)
So the men arrive and they learn that they will be learning how to mime today.
And please stop.
Mimes are the scariest fucking thing ever, I wish I could fast forward this entire date, I am so afraid and uncomfortable.



Mimes are sexual predators.
They're like, allowed to touch you and stuff, and you're supposed to think it's funny and cute?! No. It's terrifying. Get your white gloves away from me, you mute clown freak!!
Needy Marcus will like this...
because he's a predator.
Why does Andi keep making them do these terribly uncomfortable performances? Tell me! TELL ME WHY.


Roided Macklemore, aka Cody, aka C Money, aka Mime Cody (who really loves this date) coins the new catchphrase for mimes (if they could talk, that is): "I've got my mime on my money, and my money on my mime."
Brill.


So okay. Then they start miming in public, in the streets, in front of people...and What is Happening.
It's awful. The crowd is so freaked out, and they're FRENCH. That's telling you something.
This is so scary I hate this.
JJ and Marquel are actually pretty good at it though because they're so fucking cookey!
Otherwise, everyone looks like a predator.
Like Cody.
Cody goes up to this little girl who literally runs away from him to her mommy.
And, same.
Average Guy Nick V is really hating it because he's as emotional as a thirteen year old girl on her period and can literally never have fun with anything unless it's one of his freaky love letters.
All he wants to do is play Dungeons and Dragons, with Andi, alone.
His bad attitude is very unattractive, but Andi's all like "hehe I get it!" because for some reason beyond me she likes this guy.
Once the miming is over (THANK GOD) they have their usual cocktail party together. JJ grabs Andi right away FTW and takes her on a ferris wheel...which is actually very romantic and cute. And he gets some points with me tonight, even though his pants are a little too groovy.
Meanwhile...
back at the partayyy with the gents shit GOES DOWN:
Cody tells Nick V straight up, to his face, that he is full of himself and feels entitled to Andi. Nick apologizes for acting that way, but basically retracts his apology when he says immediately after: "I'm the frontrunner right now"
And all the guys are like 'wtf bro?' because in Nick's mind, he is the front runner, and for some reason Andi has allowed him to think this...which is frustrating.
Bachelorette Andi can tell there is some tensions so she pulls my darling sweetie pie, Farmer Chris, aside to talk. She asks him what is happening and he politely tells her what went down with Cody and Nick.
Andi then talks to both Cody and Nick (very dramatic shit) and Cody tells Andi he was offended that Nick called him Mr. Thankful.
And I can see why Cody is single...he gets triggered by really stupid shit...
When she talks to Nick, he just proceeds to say, once again, how this all seems so unnatural to him. OKAY NICK, IT IS UNNATURAL. It is a reality show that no one forced you to be apart of. You can leave at any time. In fact, please do. Go find a girlfriend on the internet, like everyone else, if you want something more 'natural'. God, he sounds like fucking Sharleen from last season!
ORGANIC.
Anyways.
Nick talks about what happened with Cody and Andi questions is she can trust him, and if he is manipulating her.
He then reads her some letter he must've written in the bathroom because it's terrible...a poem titled, "When I See You", then she kisses him, so if she's feeling manipulated and still letting this guy kiss her, then I have ZERO PERCENT SYMPATHY.



Marquel then decides to make this night really pretty dramatic when he confronts Andrew about the racist comment he made during night one. JJ and Nick had told Marquel earlier that day that during the first rose ceremony, Andrew mentioned to JJ that Andi had accepted both the black guys (but used a negative term). Rightfully so, Marquel took offense to this when he heard it, and it bothered him all day apparently. So he brings it up 'man to man' to Andrew, in front of all the other guys. Andrew, of course, like everything else, denies ever saying it. Is he telling the truth? Probably not. Although, JJ really does seem to have it out for Andrew...so who it to know.
IMO Andrew is scummy, and only jealous because Marquel is 50 times more attractive than he is.
Poor Marquel :( He is so sweet and quirky with his weird outfits and love of cookies...

Meanwhile, Needy Marcus is laying some bull shit on Andi. He tells her that she is "worth going to the edge of the world for" and that he is falling in love with her (again?!) making it weird.
He really needs to calm the fuck down.



Andi concludes the group date by giving the rose to JJ, which I think is good personally.
Nick and Marcus are, of course, butt hurt that they didn't get the rose. They both think they are entitled to these roses all the time, and it's annoying...and reminiscent of Crazy Clare. AMIRIGHT?



Next, we get the next one-on-one date...which goes to Brian the Basketball Coach.
Andi arrives to pick him up looking absolutely fierce in her leather jacket!
They're cute, and he's cute, but I must say: I really don't think they match well together. I like Brian but I can't see this being a long term thing. He just seems to...IDK real for her? Andi wants a cheesy guy and Brian is not that.
So anyway. They go to see a movie which gives them plenty of time to get to know each other...
Brian claims to be "having a blast" yeah...I'm sure it's a real blast watching the biggest chick flick of the season.
It's a movie about cooking, so naturally then after they go to shop for fresh food in the streets together.
Andi is enjoying using french words like "merci" and "salad" and "bonjour" repeatedly...
So they get to buy food then cook it all together. VERY FUN SHIT.


Brian gets so weird because he is stressed about cooking, and when I say he gets "so weird" I mean, he doesn't give Andi 100% attention, and she does NOT like that.
Apparently, Brian concentrating on not fucking up the pan seared frog legs that she made him cook, was really "off putting" to Andi and "upset" her.
IMO she was just mad that he wasn't entertaining her the entire freaking time.
And I get it, this was probably a good opportunity to get to know someone and have some cookey fun..but when you put people in situations outside of their comfort zone, you have to let them get their bearings.
She was totally so quick to be like "this is not the Brian I know!" and like totally freaked the fuck out like a drama queen.
In his defense, he seems pretty awkward around women, and has said so. She should just accept this about him. He can't be all mopey and lovey dovey corny like some of the other guys.
"I don't think he is rising to the occasion," she says, literally as she is holding up a limp asparagus. lol.
He is cute, but she clearly wants constant entertainment. And maybe he should be trying a little harder since this a reality competition. idk.
Finally, he kisses her/makes out with her…and she’s like “tNow his is the Brian I gave my rose to!” wtf?
She gives his magic tongue the rose.

So needy, Andi.

FINALLY we approach the cocktail party/rose ceremony, some notes:

Are they in a graveyard?

I like Andi's Elsa braid, very fun.

Andi tells CHarrison "NO COCKTAIL PARTY TONIGHT. I KNOW WHAT I FUCKING WANT. I WANT TO GET RID OF THREE MEN AND SEND THEIR ASSES BACK TO AMERICA"

"In order to get where I need to be, I need to start sending more guys home," she literally says. She is definitely on a power trip, and I don't love it. Brat!

Hey, Andi, send Marcus home!

jk, I know she won't. She loves his constant doting attention too much.

When CHarrison tells the guys that they won't be talking to Andi before the rose ceremony at the cocktail party, they are really thrown.

Cody is bummed because he wanted to "Steal" her for a few minutes...just like he stole your grandpa's style.

(no, the Macklemore jokes will never end until he leaves the show)

Patrick is sweating because he knows his time is definitely up. I think he's literally talked to Andi twice.

So instead of sitting through a cocktail party (which was totally Andi's decision and not the abc network's...) abc decides to cut to their new bull shit show "Rising Star" which looks extremely confusing in so many ways. Like I don't even know what the hell that was.

They have Josh Groban, Ludacris, Ke$ha, and Brad Paisley all together?

Is this a mad lib?

Then we have to watch this thermometer rise to 70% which I guess is a big deal? Then Groban's like "okay! Now back to your program!"

so IDK WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS.

But no...we don't get to go to the rose ceremony quite yet.

Next, we have to watch a preview for "Bachelor in Paradise" which sounds like a gay porno, but okay. And it was just basically this really vague preview that looked more like The Bachelor Goes on Spring Break FEATURING OUR FAVORITE GIRL CRAZY CLARE! yay.

So we know literally nothing about that show....so whatever, abc.

FINALLY, THE ROSE CEREMONY:

Balls out tonight.

1- Marcus (eughhh)

2- Nick V. (eughhhhh)

3- Chris (TEAM IOWA FOREVER)

4- Dylan (Yeah BB!)

5- Cody (Macklemore!? No Marquel!?)

Sending Andrew, Patrick, and Marquel home. Andrew is "pretty bummed" that he has to leave because he was "bullied" in the house by the other guys...okay...

Wah wah. Go call that hostess you got the number from on night 1.

Patrick is sad, but also kind of relieved because he can be with Andrew now. And I actually do think he is gay, or bi because as he was leaving he told Andi that there are "a lot of great guys here" and he also told us that "lots of people, and not just girls, have told me I would make a good husband" so that was definitely his way of letting us know. My sweet Patrick! Be yourself, honey.

Marquel is also really sad, and I am sad for him. I really liked his personality, but let's be honest, Andi wants a guy who writes her poems and only talks about himself and his emotions.

Sorry Marquel, my darling cookie monster :(

don't ask how I found this gif

I vote that Marquel is the next Bachelor?! Wouldn't that be fun to actually have someone with a personality?!?!

Or even Patrick, but make it with guys and girls, you know?

Like this is 2014, people.

NEXT WEEK WE GOIN' TO VENICE BOYS YEEHAW!

Also, next week one of the dates is a lie detector test? Every girl's dream date.

Winners of the week:

Cody and Marquel for actually trying to have fun miming and also confronting the douchebags about being douchebags.

Farmer Chris for being sweet, as always.

JJ for making everything fun and full of fashionable pants.

Losers of the week:

Andrew "I've Been Bullied...I am NOT a racist" Douchelord

Patrick, so cute, but had zero chance of impressing Andi, apparently. Also, be true to yourself, Patrick. Be true to yourself.

Nick V. is starting to show his true colors, and they are not good colors.

"STAAAAHHWP" count:

at least 1, but I think I've become immune

Hottie of the Week:

Gotta give it to CHarrison for that turtleneck.

Until next time,

Kaitie

xo

Ps. I can’t stand the way she talks, she literally inclines her voice the same exact way every time she speaks and I just have to get that out there.

Betchy Bachelorette Monday: Episodes 3 and 4

Good evening, everyone.
Sorry for the delay, but I have a life outside of this blog...believe it, or not.
So in case you missed it, this week we were given the treat of a two night (four hours..) with the Bachelorette special.
We have a lot to cover.



Let's break it down.

And watch out, I'm feisty tonight.


EPISODE 3

At the beginning of the episode we are informed that this week we will be traveling to Santa Barbara, California. And you know, I've always wanted to go there...so no better way to see it than through the eyes of Bachelorette Andi.
Andi claims, "It's totally different than L.A., the land, the air, the mountains, you can feel the difference. It's like a totally different place."
Insightful, Andi. And you know what, dear? It is a completely different place.


never 4get

CHarrison busts in Bachelorette Mansion and informs the men that they will be traveling to Santa Barbara and these guys are really, really pumped about it like it's college football Saturday.



Nick V. aka Average Guy Nick, gets the one-on-one date card. Bachelorette Andi decides to take him bike riding, which is exactly the type of date you'd expect to go on with Average Guy Nick V.



This also poses the question in my own mind: Do I remember how to ride a bike? (it's been years)
Back to Andi.
So Nick and Andi are riding bikes and look like the perfect, average, Santa Barbaran couple.
(interlude back to Bachelorette Mansion-Santa Barbara Edition, where Marcus is talking mad shit with Andrew about Nick V...I'm starting to get Crazy Clare vibes from Marcus, but we'll see...)
Back to the date, where apparently Andi and Nick are STILL riding bikes. It seems as if they have been riding these fucking bikes for 10 hours.
They decide to hike up a mountain and talk for a bit...SNORE.
Nick seems 'skeptical' that this isn't an 'organic' way to meet someone. LOL.
You are just now figuring this out, dude?
It becomes apparent that Nick V. is such a nerd. I could totally see myself having an in depth conversation about Game of Thrones with him. You know the type!



Nick proceeds to tell Andi that he is 'crushing on her' and Andi takes this news really, really excitedly by exclaiming, "He's crushing on me!? WHUUUT?! Is this real?"
Um, yeah. Andi...obviously. He wouldn't be here if he wasn't?
Sometimes I question how she got through law school with this logic.
They stand together then in an embrace and watch the sunset...SNORE.



Bachelorette Andi decides to take Average Guy Nick V. to the courthouse for dinner and wine which is oddly romantic but also painfully boring to us as viewers.
Nick V. sports a popped collar look and Andi then asks him "why aren't you married?"
Well, I'm not sure Andi, but I want to lean towards that popped collar as being one of the reasons!
Seriously, Nick, unpop your collar this instant.
After Andi awkwardly asks Nick why he isn't married (is she drunk?? I miss Frat Boy Craig :(... ) Nick responds, basically in this way: Well, I was engaged. And I thought I was really cool...? (IDK it didn't make sense to me either, moving on)
(interlude back to Bachelorette Mansion- Santa Barbara Edition, Andrew is very nervous that he hasn't gotten any dates yet...meanwhile his boyfriend, Patrick has..HOW RUDE. Do I sense some jealousy? Of Andi?)
Back on the date, Bachelorette Andi is VERY impressed with how "open" Nick V is being. I wouldn't know because I tuned out halfway through the 10 hour bike ride, myself.
Apparently, talking endlessly about your past and what you've lived through (failed relationships...yeah haven't we all?) makes you an open book then okay, let's talk about how I lived through eight years in Catholic school.
I am only joking. I know he's talking about his past love...whatever, blah, blah.
Andi claims that she and Nick have a lot in common "in a philosophical" sense (OKAY SHARLEEN)
Nick snags the first kiss of the night (not that it really matters because she starts handing them out pretty easily in this episode, because why the fuck not? wouldn't you?)

My mother's summation of the date with Nick: There's a certain charm about him. He's very bashful.

Like one of the seven dwarves, yes.

Next up is the group date. Most of the guys are picked, including Marcus, who is apparently very salty that he didn't get a one-on-one *cough cough* POSSESSIVE.
Bachelorette Andi takes the boys to the Music Academy of the West in Santa Barbara, which is very prestigious I GUESS.
AKA Bradley is pumped and he has "actually performed here in a competition before"
Then suddenly we are introduced to BOYZIIMEN!!! Holy hell! This is exciting stuff!



And not only that, but they are singing everyone's favorite sex song ever, "I'll Make Love to You" because WHY NOT.
I am not the only one who is really excited about this. These guys are absolutely freaking out in a way that is probably not natural. But who am I to judge?
"Pretty sure I got my cherry popped to this song!" -everyone
Bradley the Opera Star begins to sing and he absolutely needs to stop this very instant. And just needs to stop in general. I can't even believe this guy is a human that actually exists. He is that terrifying and cheesy.
He is just always making things slightly too weird and uncomfortable.


here he is, in all his glory

Andi and Boyz II Men tell the guys that they will be learning the song and performing it. OKAY, fine...embarrassing, but not a big deal.
Cody aka Macklemore is absolutely bad. Where is Ryan Lewis when you need him?
Actually, in general, all of these guys are absolutely bad. Even Bradley.
Andi also sucks at singing and I can think of zero reasons for her or the producers to choose this ridiculous date.
After they've been practicing they are surprised with the news that they will be singing "I'll Make Love to You" in front of a live audience at a Boyz II Men concert...which poses the question: Can you imagine going to a Boyz II Men concert and having to experience THIS mess?
Also, Boyz II Men is playing outdoor shopping malls now?
That's disappointing, tbh.



They all arrive at the outdoor mall, ready to sing in front of thousands (more like hundreds) of people. And one team of guys is dressed in nice, dapper, khaki sports coats with ties, while the other team of guys have to wear these ridiculous hats that make me way to weep.
I, like, don't even want to talk about those hats.
CHarrison pops up like "hey y'all!"
Who invited him, again?
JK, love you Chris.

Bradley: To be in my element and not get a rose...it would be...devastating.
(let that statement percolate)
So the guys start singing and they really aren't any better, at all, than they were in rehearsal...and it's just all very mortifying to have to sit through.
Andi says, evilly, "They are all butchering this song, and think they're doing really well. It's hilarious."
The little girl in the crowd with her hands covering her ears, yeah, you're right.
PS HOLD ON Tasos is a Wedding Event Coordinator???
Not the job I would put with him, not even a little bit.


Those who don't wed? Plan!

So finally the concert is over. Thank God...because that was very...hard to watch.
We move on to the cocktail party, which is almost a relief at this point, in which Bachelorette Andi decides to "get to know her boys!" better.
Andi pulls Cody (Macklemore-Hulk Version) aside and decides she wants to "mess with him a little" and jokingly confronts him about a "rumor" she's been hearing that he has a girlfriend back home. You can see him getting progressively angrier. His face gets all red and he's ready to hulk smash, basically, or steal your grandpa's style. (no for real, can he have his hand-me-downs?)



Then he begins sweating, which is no shock to anyone...yuck.
Andi then laughs and says she is totally messing with him.
Cody is like "LOL I was about to pop a vessel! You're hilarious and charming, Andi!"
PS Thanks Bachelorette producers for teasing that moment in the previews making it seem more dramatic than it actually was! So rude.
(interlude back to Bachelorette Mansion- Santa Barbara Edition, the guys are chilling [a bit too close for comfort] in the hot tub together when the one-one-one date card comes in...JJ the Pantsapreneur gets the date)
Back to the date. We see the guys all sitting together, not really having much to talk about except how Andi is "the total package" which...come on. Is that really what they talk about when they're bored? How awkward.
Marcus wants his time with Andi, of course...
And he gets all nervous and sweaty and it's very apparent that he is expecting all these roses all the time now. I am getting really sick of him and his needy behavior at this point. He is definitely turning into to Crazy Clare of the season...way too expectant and clingy. I shall call him, from this point forward Needy Marcus.
Besides, I decided that I kind of don't trust Marcus. I don't know why. I really think his shy guy act is a facade and he seems like the kind of guy who would send your friend nude pics even though he took you out to dinner the night before. Not speaking from experience, or anything, just saying..

Josh (WHO APPARENTLY IS A FORMER BASEBALL PLAYER NOT A FORMER BASKETBALL PLAYER?! WTF? Sorry for that...I'm wasted...but yeah this changes everything) So Josh, the former BASEBALL player, takes his time with Andi and plays the cute guy act and gets a 'steamy' kiss out of it, which just sort of sounds like a lot of suction to me.
But hey, what do I know of romance, right?
Bachelorette Andi ends the night by talking, and talking, and talking...because she loves the sound of her own voice, I guess, and finally gives the date rose to Josh.
Needy Marcus is very upset by this, because he felt he earned it.

Mom's Summation: How embarrassing...

Bachelorette Andi picks up JJ the Pantsapreneur for their one-on-one date. I can definitely see how he is a "pantsapreneur" because I've never seen that style of pants on any man...well, ever.
Andi then informs JJ that they will be "turning into old people together" which seems really confusing until we are introduced to the make up chairs. Now it's just frightening.
Sounds like a nightmare, looks like a nightmare, must be a nightmare.
"This is kind of cute because we'll see how we look when we're old together!"  aka "We can see what we'll look like when we're a few short days AWAY FROM DEATH!" *oh stop, you were all thinking it*
Just ew. WTF?
I mean, they're going to walk around like this? In old people garb?
This is a date?!
Now. I know I went into this paragraph originally very skeptical, but once they're out and freaking normal civilians out with their old people personas, the idea of this date started to grow on me.
Perhaps because I myself like to mess with people and used to go into Abercrombie pretending to be pregnant all the time when I was younger.
(interlude back to the Bachelorette Mansion- Ron begins packing his things because there is a family emergency at home, which we later find out is a close family friend :( we're sorry Ron, you'll be missed...meanwhile all the other guys are sitting together in the living room, very close on the couch. I don't get it? Do they sit like that often? All together? Odd.)
Meanwhile, back on the date, Andi and JJ are having a great time freaking people out in their old people outfits and make up, running around this park like lunatics, doing cartwheels and shit.
People are really alarmed by it, and it is actually quite hilarious.
After the old people shenanigans, Andi and JJ get dressed back as their normal selves and go to a nice dinner together. We find out that JJ was a dork when he was younger. No shit.
JJ says, "I know we're not the same people, but I do know that we want the same things."
How do you know, JJ?! You've known this girl two weeks! This show never ceases to amaze me...
(interlude back to the mansion: Cute yet Aloof Dylan emotionally opens up to Farmer Chris about the loss of his brother and sister.. :( very sad stuff!)



Finally, we approach the end of the episode, aka the cocktail party.
Bachelorette Andi joins them all in the living room and gives a toast to Ron. Of course, making the situation about her. "This made me realize how much y'all are giving up for me, and I'm so grateful."
Like, okay?
That's what you got out of Ron's close friend dying? I don't know...but whatever. I guess she handled it the only way she could.
Prince Eric pulls Andi aside right away and lets her know that he is very thankful that she asked him on the first one-on-one date last week (which in Bachelorette time is like, months ago...way in the past now!) Nevertheless, the moment is very cute, but is abruptly ruined when Average Guy Nick V has flowers delivered to her? with a note. Andi can't help but smile rudely, like a tart, while Eric sits there, awkwardly sweating.
What is he? Chopped liver!?
That was not cool, man.
But apparently it worked, Andi loved it and Nick claimed that he wanted to make this "unnatural experience more natural" ALLLLRIGHT, FINE.

Suddenly, we cut to JJ who "needs to get something off his chest" and I AM VERY NERVOUS...sweating, not as bad as these guys, but still sweating.
We find out that JJ witnessed Andrew getting a number from the hostess of some irrelevant restaurant and 'bragging' about it to the other guys.
OOH THE DRAMA.
But first, JJ has to go grab some muscle to back him up, and immediately goes to Josh, former baseball player to tell him what he knows. Josh is furious.
Together, along with JJ's ridiculous pants (seriously wtf is that print?), they confront Andrew. Andrew pussies out, as expected, and literally walks away, up to his room, and shuts the door.
"So that's what kind of guy you are, huh?" Josh and JJ both shake their heads, verrrry offended.
No one needed to tell me twice that Andrew was an ass hole. You can tell just from that fucking smirk on his face since day one.
Andrew claims: "I don't want to get attacked by some ass hole and some nerd," further proving that he is, indeed, a prick.
Then he goes "Where is Patrick? Patrick will protect me!" (lol jk, sort of)
Meanwhile, Needy Marcus pulls Andi aside and hands her a note (WHAT IS WITH THESE NOTES LATELY?) and kisses her, telling her how much she means to him. You know, being his usual emotional self.
CHarrison comes in and can sense the tension with the guys.
He eases said tension by telling them IT'S TIME FOR ELIMINATION, FUCKERS.
Andrew concludes the cocktail party by making an awkward toast about he hopes "everyone is here for the right reasons, and that he hopes whoever Andi chooses is worthy of her" (okay, douchelord)



Patrick takes this moment to blot some sweat from his forehead...WHICH THANK YOU, FINALLY SOMEONE DOES.

Rose Ceremony:
-does Lamaze breathing-
1. Needy Marcus
2. Brian (tone deaf stripper and educator of America) - also sorry I've been spelling his name wrong thusfar
3. Marquel (looking good tonight, cookie man)
4. Tasos (crazy cat)
5. Cody (gonna pop some tags, only got 20 dollars in his pocket)
6. Patrick (I've got nothing)
7. Chris (TEAM IOWA!)
8. Prince Eric
9. Dylan (awwe, yay)
10. Andrew (THE DRAMA CONTINUES!...like we didn't see that coming)

Therefore, Bachelorette Andi sends the Lamp Guy home, who doesn't seem that upset actually.



And also, Bradley the Opera Singer. THANK GOD. Sorry, but he had to go.
Bradley, however, doesn't take it so well, and has literal tears pouring from his eyes.
I have nothing to say. I mean honestly. The guy is a total whackjob.
Be a man, grow a pair of balls, and GOOOOODBYYYYYYEE (in opera bravado)







Winners/Standouts of the Night:
Average Guy Nick V for his letter writing, flower delivering and popped collar. Apparently, Andi is into that shit. JJ and Josh both stand out as being manly men, defending their lady from evil. Prince Eric for being cute and the only one who actually wasn't a terrible singer at that Boyz II Men concert. Dylan, you'll get your time BB, we're rooting for you. Farmer Chris because duh, he's my favorite every week.

Losers:
Andrew for being a total dick-wad. Definitely Bradley, for being Bradley. Needy Marcus, because I no longer like him. Marquel, did Andi even talk to you?

Hottie of the Week:
JJ, thanks for not being an old geezer yet. You're cute despite your pants.

"STAHHPP" counts:
none!? I wasn't really paying attention. Sorry.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

EPISODE 4


We're in New England tonight, y'all.

Bachelorette Andi claims, "New England is so romantic...it's full of water, sailboats, and rich old white people" (okay, the last part was paraphrased)

We kick off the episode with Cody? Idk, but whatever. Apparently, he really wants a one-on-one. And come on...do any of us see him getting a one-on-one? No. Does Andi take him seriously? Sorry, Cody. Just give up.



Also, let's talk about there's definitely a lot of homoerotic bonding going on here between these guys. They love each other.



Dylan gets the first one-on-one date tonight! Yay! Rightfully so.
This poor guy needed his time in the light. He's definitely been flying under the radar, and I think it's because he's shy.
He still needs a haircut, though.
Andrew gives us some insight that "Dylan will definitely have to open up today if he wants a shot with Andi" because I guess Andrew is the expert on Andi now (one group date...)
Bachelorette Andi takes Dylan on a train around the coast or something. And sure enough, Dylan seems quite hesitant, as Andrew predicted.
PS Wow, this music is pretty epic for this situation. Just saying.
Dylan opens up to Andi about his past, ever so slightly, just a little bit.
He looks extremely sad and depressing.
Anyways, as they are getting off the train my cable went out....so sorry y'all.
Cable comes back on and they both look happier and are getting back on the train. He also has the rose, so I assume the date went well. AKA he probably opened up.
Good job, Dylan.



Next up is the group date:
The contestants will be playing basketball, in an arena, in the hotel.
Must be nice.
Brian is, of course, pumped about it because he's a basketball coach and basically has this date in the bag.
Farmer Chris states: I've never been on a date with ten other guys before.
Yeah honey, most people haven't.
JJ has a shirt with his own name on it? Interesting, yet not surprising.
Andi comes out with some WNBA players alongside her. Josh claims to recognize them which, props to you Josh, because if I ever met a guy who knew anything about the WNBA, I would die of shock.
Anyways, the guys begin playing the WNBA players, and of course, are awful.
Nothing gets men's blood pumping like sex or competitive aggression sports. Good choice, Andi. Let's separate the boys from the men here.
The men are then split into two teams and told the winning team will go get drinks with Andi later, and the losers have to go back to the hotel and hang out with Needy Marcus (PLEASE NO)
So anyways, Brian's team basically feels like they have it in the bag. And I must admit Brian is quite cute with his planning and coaching and whatnot.
These guys are really, really into this. It's sexy and also somewhat embarrassing.
Andi is sitting with the WNBA players like "mmmhmmm...nice form"...GUUURRRL.
So at halftime, they are tied 6-6 (really? what was the first half only two minutes long?)
The guys go to the locker room for a pep talk and realize that they actually have to bust their asses right now because ANDI'S HEART IS AT STAKE HERE!!!



Personally, if I were the Bachelorette, I would make men play Badminton for my heart, because that is a sexy ass game. Ya feel?

Brian, of course, shines and Andi takes notice of DAT ASS.
Therefore, Brian's team, the Rosebuds (like the cheat code in The Sims) take home the W. (even though they have 6 people on their team, and the other team only had 5...but whatever)

At the cocktail party that night, Andi pulls Prince Eric aside first and tells him that she feels their relationship has been "Stalled"
Eric tries, as politely as possible, to explain that the reason for this is most likely because they haven't gotten to speak at all since their first one-on-one date weeks prior to this.
She then shoots back that she feels he is not "opening up" to her.
Eric asks what she wants to know and she says "I want to know about your family"
SNORE.
But Prince Eric, being the gentleman that he is, decides to tell her all about his family and how much they mean to her. She seems satisfied by this.
"OK GREAT! THE SPARK IS REUNITED!"?
I mean honestly, how can she say that to Eric? It's not like they've had much time together at all. When he did try to talk to her, she got flowers from Nick and ditched him. Sorry, but I am taking Eric's side in this. I think Andi just doesn't like when guys aren't fighting for her attention all the time. That's annoying.
Anyways. Moving on.
Bachelorette Andi takes Brian out of center court and they shoot some hoops together.
"I've never done this! I've never been on a professional court like this!" she says, stupidly. Yeah, Andi, MOST PEOPLE HAVE NOT.
Brian teaches Andi how to do a layup, and suddenly, she's perfect.
Brian is definitely acting all nervous and adorable. Andi tells him that if he makes a half court shot, he may get rewarded for it. So he takes the shot, not thinking he'll make it, when indeed he does.




Brian is as shocked as Andi is that he actually made the basket. Instead of kissing her, as she was hinting him to do, he awkwardly hugs her before going back to the group, missing his shot.
DUDE, COME ON.
"I'm really bad at reading signs. All of my friends tell me I have zero game with girls," he says. Yeah buddy, seriously, you are, because she wanted to jump your bones.
Average Guy Nick V pulls her aside next and they talk. He tells her that she is "all he thinks about" and how he "wakes up thinking about her"...which okay, in most contexts is a code red creeper alert.
Despite Nick's thirsty attempt to get the MVP Rose, Andi awards the rose to Brian...because I mean, he did make the half court shot and all.

Needy Marcus gets the one-on-one date and feels the need to write a poem about it all night (kidding, maybe)
Andi is afraid of heights, but wants to "take a leap of faith with Marcus" because who wouldn't want to do something completely terrifying with someone they just met for fun?
Bachelorette Andi takes Needy Marcus up to the roof of their crazy tall hotel building. It is here we find out they will be scaling down the side of the building, because that's fucking fun. right?
Andi then proceeds to tell us, "I've never sky dived, I've never bungee jumped..." OKAY ANDI MOST PEOPLE HAVEN'T!! Jesus.
Marcus decides to keep his stylish scarf on the entire time and I secretly am hoping it flies off the side of the building. Maybe he'll write a sonnet about his lost scarf and cry about it over candlelight.
These dates really have no consistency at all, if we're being honest. She goes from riding a train and dressing up like an old person to climbing down the side of a mile high building.
Sense isn't made.



Anyways.
Andi is freaking out. She is really terrified, which is good, because it shows that she is, in fact, human.
After about thirty minutes of coaxing, Marcus and the instructor manage to get Andi off the top and on the side.
They get themselves prepped for the repelling and we realize that they will be repelling down past the other guys' rooms. Needy Marcus is excited about this.
As the guys see them coming down, they hoot and holler and act obnoxious. Brian claims that Marcus looks terrified and "there's no crying in repelling!" which I found kind of funny, TBH.
To calm Andi down, Marcus tries talking to her. He asks her what her mom does for a living and Andi replies, "She plays Mahjong with her friends on weekends" and I laughed hysterically, because that's pretty funny.
They kiss on the side of the building and with that wind, I'd rather not, you feel me?
After a thrilling (and not too fun looking) date, they go on their night date with dinner and drinks. Needy Marcus continues to act like his nervous self.
He acts all shocked and pleased when she offers him the rose, like he has no idea that she likes him. COME ON DUDE. It's such an act.
She has told him repeatedly that she likes him and is intrigued by him, yet he still doubts himself all the time in front of her. I'm sick of his awkward, sad puppy thing. It's fucking irritating.
Don't you want to be with someone who acts like a man, at least SOMETIMES?
Andi tells him that today was a test to see more of his "protective instinct" and I'm sorry, I didn't realize Marcus was training for the K-9 unit.
"I'm so addicted" he says about her kisses...which doesn't sound weird or threatening.
AWKWARD CONCERT TIME.
They dance alone on a platform in front of a bunch of strangers as a country singer croons away.
Normal.
It is here that Marcus claims he is "falling in love" with Andi.



WHAT?!
BRO, PULL IT TOGETHER!
He is so fucking needy. It's episode 4!!! Jeesh. To drop the L-bomb...that's seriously a bit much.
Even for this show.
Andi doesn't really say anything back, just kisses him to shut him up. If that were me, I'd be creeped out.
Andi asks us "Is there anything wrong with Marcus??"
To which my mom replies to her, "Yeah probably his stalker-y letters!"



Before the cocktail party/rose ceremony, Andi gets YET ANOTHER LETTER....from a secret admirer.
What is this? The season of letters?
In the letter, the guy basically says he is falling in love with her and is so glad he is here...blah blah.
What is wrong with these pansies?!
My guess as to who it is? Marcus or Nick V since they love writing letters apparently.

Cocktail party:
Andi claims, "This is working for me!" when she walks in and sees all the hot guys in suits. Yeah, of course, no shit you like it. Most heterosexual women would.
She endlessly talks as usual and Tasos barely lets her finish before jumping up and demanding his time with her.
She's not into it...



Andi says she appreciates that kind of forwardness. She says this whole thing is about fighting for love and putting yourself out there, and it's not about the gimmicks and little things.
OKAY ANDI. Well, so far, you've been really, really impressed with the stupid gimmicks like the flowers and the cookies and the songs and shit. So shut up. I really don't get her right now. Like I honestly can't peg her personality because she sounds so fake sometimes. TBH.
I want to like her, I really really do...because she's cool and a lawyer, and seems different...but when she speaks I am instantly annoyed. She's a hypocrite, honestly.
Hopefully that changes.
Brian takes her aside next, telling her he regrets not kissing her on the bball court, so he kisses her then and it's all very romantic? I guess.
Marquel is looking good and fresh and pulls her aside. He seems a little tipsy and wants to teach her some self defense moves. (why?? will she need them!?) He says he is into UFC fighting as if that is his career but I will never forget the cookies, Marquel. Never.

And then...the drama begins.
Prince Eric wants to talk to Andi about something that's been bothering him. He confronts her about the fact that she claims their relationship has "stalled" when she never even really gave it a chance to start. Eric says that he doesn't think Andi should blame him for the fact that they aren't connecting, because he's opened up to her a lot, and she has barely opened up or shown her true self to him at all.
Andi takes A LOT of offense to this.
Especially when Eric accidentally refers to what she's doing as "acting"...which is a big no-no in Bachelor world.
She is getting progressively angrier at him, and I'm pretty sure she gets so mad at him because she knows he is right and brings up valid points.
"I'm trying so hard to be natural and real!" she says...even though a moment before she told him that she's been nothing but real with him the entire time? So IDK what the fuck she's talking about. My mother thinks she was a bit drunk.
The truth is, Eric is right. Andi has spent a lot of time pressuring these guys to open up to her, but have we once seen her talk about her life with them? We know Juan Pablo did when he was the bachelor...not that he's a prime example, but you know.
I don't necessarily think Eric went about it the right way when he said she was 'acting' and 'faking.' And I'm pretty sure he wasn't trying to upset her, but be honest with her.
She really, really didn't like that. She started freaking out and getting all sassy and defensive...and quite frankly, annoying.
She starts acting like a total lunatic. Eric says "I should probably go...this wasn't how I wanted this to go" and she basically tells him "too bad..."
So Prince Eric walks out of the cocktail party, all because he was being honest with her.
Andi then proceeds with her freak out and storms into the room where the other men are and says "I AM EXHAUSTED OF THIS! I AM TRYING SO HARD...I WANT THIS TO BE NATURAL, I AM TRYING TO BE NATURAL. IF THIS ISN'T REAL TO YOU, THERE'S THE DOOR" acting like a total drama queen.



I understand why she is upset, but she has to admit Eric had valid points! It's not going to be 100% real, there are cameras everywhere. In fact, I will make the argument that it's not even 50% real...
Maybe not even 25%.

Anyways.
Eric departs, his final words on the show being "Love and family are the most important things in the world, I would never not take that seriously."
:(
It's all the more devastating because he passed away shortly after this.
I mean, how terribly heartbreaking!
Instead of doing a rose ceremony, they do a little remembrance of Eric. Chris Harrison sits down with Andi and they talk about Eric and his time on the show/the impact he had. It was very sad.
Upon asking Andi about it, she says that "It's so weird how it ended...knowing we'll never resolve anything. I feel bad. I can't talk to him at the Men Tell All. We live in this bubble, and forget everything out there, blah blah."
OKAY...you can't talk to him at the Men Tell All?
Really?
Why do you feel the need to say that?
You can't talk to him again, period. He's gone.
I mean, this is bigger than a TV show?
I just found it weird that she would say something like that about seeing him at the Men Tell All...like who cares about the dumb reunion show?
She probably didn't mean it the way it came out, but still. Awkward.
She then says how she "tried so hard to make things comfortable and natural" and wanted things to be honest and real.

Like, I get it Andi. But you need to calm down. How can you say you're 'exhausted'? This thing just started. You're lucky, girlfran! You have all these men who want to spend time with you and talk to you and get to know you. You have people doing your hair and make up, you're traveling to amazing places, and seeing amazing things, and having all this fun on these weird yet exciting dates. And when someone expresses their honest, true feelings towards you, you freak out?
How can you act like such a complete brat about this when you did the same thing to Juan Pablo? You were honest with him about how you felt, wouldn't you want that too?
I don't know. I just found her breakdown at the cocktail party to be completely bratty and out of line. I found her words with Chris Harrison to  be awkward and not thought through enough. I understand it's a really uncomfortable situation, but I just felt like it was made about the show still, despite them saying it wasn't about the show.
Generally, I like Andi but was really disappointed in the way she handled things with Eric, mostly with his time on the show.

Also, I like how Chris Harrison was like "we don't want to focus on the rose ceremony at all. We aren't even going to show you the rose ceremony...but just so you know Tasos went home, and here are previews for next week's episode!"

Really?
Still pretty tacky, if you ask me.

All I have to say about all this is, Tasos, you were fun...a little weird, but fun.
And Rest in Peace, Eric. You sweet prince. :(

Until next time,

Kaitie
xo