This blog is dedicated to Sarah and her bloody mouth.
It's that time of year again, the time when people go completely gaga for the Autumn Equinox. I understand, I get it, I'm waiting in line for the PSL, too.
Plus, if you're from the part of the world that I'm from fall is a very brief, fleeting romance..kind of like Jack and Rose. One minute it's 95 degrees and sweltering hot and the next minute you're shoveling snow out of your driveway.
Therefore, we can be very very thrilled by the brief fling we have with fall.
It used to be really more of a "guy's season" for obvious reasons: i.e. football.
Within the past decade or so, though, I've been discovering that us women get to enjoy fall just as much..and dare I say more than the men do.
We had to find something. Not generalizing that women can't be fans of sports or anything, but the men simply do not pay attention to us between the months of September-February...or..really any...other month of the year...
But that's a different blog!
The scarf is literally enveloping her, but she still looks good because HELLO IT'S FALL.
We found solace and comfort in our infinity scarves, riding boots, pumpkin spice lattes, and pinterest crock pot recipes. AND we get to enjoy kicking our boyfriends' butts in fantasy football even though we constantly forget to update the roster.
We like tailgating, we like cheering for the first down, but we love the leather jackets, we love the combat boots, we love wearing red lip stick, and we love that we don't have to wear shorts anymore...therefore we do not have to shave our legs anymore.
Fall is wonderful for so many other reasons, too...
-All of our favorite, quality television shows come back on...none of that space filler crap we endure during the summertime months.
-The leaves change and Instagram absolutely blows up with pictures of the trees...and for once, I don't mind! I'd rather look at beautiful trees than a selfie of your face captioned "#love #tuesday #alwayssmiling #selfie"
-Apples, in general are a great fruit this time of year. You never realize just how many different types of apples there are in the world until fall. Also, you never eat apples with caramel until fall comes around. I can't explain why, but you just don't...and that works for us. We want to have things to look forward to. Apple cider. If I go to heaven, I'll be drinking cider like it's my job. Hot, cold, I don't care.
-Pumpkins are awesome. An underrated gourd. Seeds are good toasted with salt. You can carve them into fun designs. You can decorate your lawn with them. If you're like the street youths in my very white suburban neighborhood, you can throw them in the road so that their guts lie everywhere. You can flavor your coffee with them (i.e. the saga, the myth, the legend: the pumpkin spice latte).
OH HELL YEAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Back to school. Alright, fine. It's kind of depressing, but in a lot of ways it is also a necessary, yet exciting, evil. Back to school shopping, in particular. Lisa Frank folders, twist up crayons, those cool pencils with the little pieces of lead, notebooks (NOT COLLEGE RULED), that new backpack...it's just fun. More fun than school or class, even.
-Halloween is a fun holiday. It's one day of candy eating and excessive drinking, all while being dressed as a completely different person or object of your own choosing.
oh.
-Bon fires and hoodies that you go home in, smelling like a bon fire...priceless
-Snuggies. I don't even have to say anything, because I truly hope you understand the majesty of the snuggie.
-Fluffy socks. Also, not sure how much I have to explain here except it's like wrapping your feet in a baby blanket and telling them how much you love them and all they do for you.
-Thanksgiving. UM HELLO. The food. The football. The napping. What could be more American than that? (let's not mention the Pilgrims bringing over smallpox, okay?..just this once, let's be happy)
-Cuddling. I don't want to be lame and say cuddling like everyone else. BUT I'M GONNA! It is so nice to cuddle with the ones you love! In my case, my body pillow or my dog...or that spoonful of nutella.
-Pie. It's hightime for pie time. Pumpkin? Pecan? Apple? YUP, ALL OF THE ABOVE PLEASE.
-Knit hats that don't even cover my ears just because they look cute.
HOWEVER. While I love all of these things, I truly cannot understand why fall is such a popular theme on all social media outlets. If fall were a person, it would be everyone's number one on myspace, like Tom.
The only thing I can really think of is that people see Fall as a time to "Start Again"
I don't know who told people that walking to class in a new outfit while carrying a big, steamy mug of salted carmel mocha with a big Starbucks logo on the side was needed to validate a person. Why must Starbucks dictate what I drink and when I drink it? But for some reason, it does validate me.
I'm so torn.
Half of me wants to bitterly and angrily make fun of all the people (i.e. females age 15-30) who are obsessed, but the other half of me is right there with them, and not even ashamed about it.
See, I want to walk here now.
So fine.
I throw in the towel.
I'm defeated.
You make fun of me all you want.
But I'll be sitting here, drinking hot cider out of a to-go tumbler and eating a pumpkin scone, while wearing my tights, knit sweater, and oxfords, reading a random book with a hard bound cover and yellowed pages, just because it looks good, while simultaneously checking my fantasy team and Instagraming a picture of leaves.
I'm going to enjoy myself, as Rose did, while I can. I'm going to go dance below deck with the 3rd classers and show them how good I am at standing on my tip toes. I'm going to spit in my rich fiance's face, tell my mother to fuck herself, and make love to Leonardo DiCaprio in the back of a car, only after letting him paint me just like one of his French girls. Because guess what? Soon enough the iceberg will be hit, we'll be drowning, and I'll be letting Fall go, deep, deep into the ocean...
Winter will come, and I will no longer be quite as happy. There will be a piece of me missing. Sure, I'll still live a long, fulfilling life, and I'll die warm in my bed with lots of children, but the memories of fall will be there always. Only one can help remind me of the memories of fall, and that is Bill Paxton.
"I never let it in.."
Okay.
I'm getting off topic.
I can't resist bringing Bill Paxton up.
BUT MY POINT IS.
Let us all just enjoy this time of year in peace and harmony and not make fun of each other too cruelly for the #FallingForFall hashtag because soon it will be winter and we'll all be miserable, cold, and broke because of Christmas. All we'll have left is a little bit of the pumpkin spice candle left to drown our sorrows.
Until next time,
Kaitie
