Happy 2012 everyone! Hoping this is NOT our last year on Earth, and if it is, oh well. I hope that you all had a wonderful Holiday Season and are getting this year started off right. If you haven't given up on that diet or your gym membership, you are already a winner. (It has been 11 days, that's a lot of dedication..for an American and all). You all voted for your favorite Christmas Movie and it was a 3-way tie between A Christmas Story (Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie!), Christmas Vacation (Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?), and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville - did not.)
Anyways, It's been over a month since I've written on here and for that, I apologize. My procrastination was in low mode while on Winter Break. But don't worry I'm back, and as awkward as ever.
Tonight I have a few things to talk about.
The first being the subject of the first day of college class in a new semester..more specifically the expressions on people's faces.
OK. Here is the issue.
Why do people feel the need to look so freaking mean and angered on the first day of class? So I walk into any college classroom and if there are people in there, they do NOT under any circumstances smile. (This is only for people who you don't know, of course). Why must you intimidate me so? I'm already nervous enough as it is...and now all of these people are sitting here with these horrible looks on their face like we're all facing impending doom or something. Which, alright, maybe we are. But still, why do you look constipated right now? Can't we just be happy? Would it kill people to smile at other people? I know, it's weird. If you don't know someone and you just randomly smile at them they will think
1- Do I know this person?
2- Is this person trying to hit on me?
3- What did I do to deserve this smile..is there cilantro in my teeth?
Can't we just be nice and smile at one another every once and while? Why do I have to walk into a lecture hall feeling like I'm walking into a courtroom or worse, the DMV? (shudder)
If there is one thing I could change about society besides politics, war, and the Kardashians, I would change the fact that no one smiles at one another. It's kind of rude, if you think about it. But hey, I'm not going to be the one to start such a movement...people will think I'm weird. Right?
Next subject.
Couples who sit on the same side of the booth at restaurants whilst on a date.
DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE ONE OF THESE COUPLES, DON'T READ THIS....
First off, who are you trying to impress?
Secondly, we're not impressed.
Thirdly, don't you find it annoying when you're constantly bumping elbows with your significant other while trying to cut your food?
Fourthly, doesn't you neck hurt from looking at your boyfriend/girlfriend/etc.?? (or is that why they call it "necking"...you know, in 1950).
Fifthly, isn't it awkward staring ahead at an empty booth across from you?
These people just flabberghast me. Really, I'm constantly perplexed by couples like this, or any people who do this in general. I'm open to arguments. If you would like to propose to me a justification for such a weird act, please feel free to do so. Otherwise, you're an idiot if you do this.
You're only setting yourself up for an hour+ of awkward dinner conversation and even more awkward dirty looks. JUST DON'T DO IT.
I have an example recently of an event that occured whilst eating dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. This kind of has to do with the whole couple on the same side of the booth thing, but more so it's just me going off on a tangent.
A few of my friends and I were at dinner, talking, laughing, giggling, and having general goodtimes. I, of course, take notice of a couple that's just sit down near us in the rotunda of tables. They sit on the same side of the booth. I'm immediately intrigued.
The guy is wearing a flannel short sleeve shirt in the middle of Ohio winter with no coat. He does, however, have a beanie hat on. Good! Whew! Then his girlfriend is wearing Aeropostle sweatpants that I only ever wear myself while in the privacy of my home, because, after all, I'm not 12.
They're at least 21 because the guy orders a bottle of beer. (Really, from the Cheesecake Factory? You couldn't at least be somewhat classy and get it on tap?)
Anyways they're talking and eating the complimentary bread.
All of the sudden the male counterpart gets down on one knee. I, being the socially ridiculous person I am, gasp loudly causing a great echo throughout the rotunda. People look. I've distracted my entire table. They're panicked. I would be too-- I would be very concerned if I had to be friends with myself, honestly.
So I thought the guy was proposing.
He wasn't.
He was picking up a dime or something.
I'm so embarassed for my outburst, but I legit thought this guy was proposing.
My first thought was "OMG this guy is proposing!" -gasp-
My second thought was "OMG this guy is proposing at the Cheesecake Factory...ew." -judgemental face-
No, he just gets up and then sits next to his girlfriend. I don't know why they feel the need to be so close, but this is later at night. Maybe only the freaks come out that late anyways.
In that case, I wanna marry the night. Ma-ma-marry.
Sorry. That was weird.
My final subject for this ridiculously stupid blog post is about those uncomfortable "Get to Know You" games.
Why do professors feel the need to do this to me? Really. I take this as a personal attack. We're 18+ years old adults (well, as adult as you can be when you're bonging beers and walking 2 miles in 6 inch heels in 20 degree weather on a Thursday at 2am when you have class in 6 hours...not that I do that), we should NOT have to be playing get to know you games like middle schoolers.
It always makes me a bit rigid because I never know what to say when I have to say something "interesting" about myself.
Like what do these people find interesting?
That I like to read or that I enjoy the feeling of my retainer in my mouth because I find it comforting? Both of these can be seen as interesting facts.
But if I say I like to read I automatically put the "smart girl" label on my head and it's better not to put expectations on yourself in the eyes of others especially when you ask dumb questions in class when you have too much coffee, as I often do.
And if I say the retainer thing, I'm just a fucking weirdo.
So, you see, dillema.
These games just suck because I'm not athletic, don't play an intstrument, don't have a twin, and am not double-jointed. Those are the easy go-to facts. I hate these people.
Then the worst is when your professor is like "OKAY! Turn to the person next to you and introduce yourselves."
And if you're me, you're sitting next to a bro...of course.
So I turn and introduce. He's not impressed. That's okay. We just talk for a few about our names, majors, life goals (jk). But then the convo is over. Yet everyone else is still talking. The prof is not stopping this madness. So I turn back around and keep to myself, but then everyone is still literally talking...so is it okay if I turn back around and ask him what his favorite color is?! Like, no. That's weird.
^Sorry if that is so ridiculous. Most people probably don't have this problem. I do though, so I'm writing about it. Deal.
Alright, you know what. I'm just going to stop myself for the night. It's late and I'm doped up on cold meds.
I hope you all are having a good first few weeks of 2012 and that you are staying out of jail.
Until next time,
Kaitie
xo
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