Hello bloggers! Hope everyone had a fulfilling weekend (doubtful)! I know I sure didn't!
This weekend was counterproductive in many ways. Not only did I not do anything of actual use, I spent way too much money on things I truly didn't need. Such a girl problem, I know.
I spent too much money on clothes specifically. Yes, shame...shame. The purchasing of sweaters was necessary though for it is getting cold out and I need something more fashionable than my outdated sweaters from freshman year (of high school).
And you boys can shut up. I know Call of Duty 16 or whatever is coming out this week and that you will all be spending big bucks to buy it. If you're allowed to spend $60 on a video game that you'll play in a night I'm allowed to spend $60 on 5 sweaters that I can wear all winter.
Anyways, to the point.
From a very young age, us girls are told "You're going to meet the perfect man and he is going to love you for who you are!" blah blah whatever. Usually, more realistic parents will say: "You're going to probably meet your husband in college, please don't get pregnant till you graduate."
And so far, it's looking promising for many young adults. Plenty of girls I know are meeting the love of their life and HURAH! It's very exciting indeed.
But where does that leave the rest of us?
AND do I really even want to start thinking about that?
I can tell you that I personally do not. The thought scares me to death and I literally want to run to the bathroom and crap myself right now thinking about where I'll be in 5 years. (homeless, alone...most likely)
I believe in love, let me just say that. It exists, I've seen it. I'm not THAT bitter.
However, it can't exist for all and I'm sick of people thinking that it can.
Usually you meet your significant other through a friend, or at a bar, or at a party, or at some group/organization, sometimes even in class...
But once we get to the real world and out of the college bubble and we're still alone...then what?!
It's a scary word: dating.
Yes, we must date my friends. I know. I know. It's frightening. And you're right, we don't HAVE to. We could always just have arranged marriages like they did back in the day. Times were easier then, after all.
And of course, we don't have to date. Some people are perfectly happy being single. Yay for you! I'm so glad.
I for one don't even want to think about marriage or kids until I'm close to 30...but still, the time to act is approaching.
10 years ago I was raising Barbies. 10 years from now I may be raising actual, real life, human babies that breathe and cry and poop and have actual needs besides which pair of pink pumps looks best with a fake plastic vagina covered in a sequined mini-skirt.
ANYWAYS. I'm getting ahead of myself...again (shocker)
Dating.
OK, back to the point.
Dating is one of the most, if not the most, awkward forms of human communication on the planet.
Most likely you are going out with a person you barely know. Speaking from a female's perspective I must discuss the process. We worry for days about how to act on said date. The day of the date you shower AND shave your legs (not that he'll be touching them...yet, I'm not that big of a hussy)...and moisturize. You go through 6 outfits at least and end up changing ten minutes before he arrives anyways. What shoes to wear. Heels? Too dressy? What if you're taller than him? No. Flats. Too teacher-y? No. Boots. (summer?) See, problems.
Most likely the guy won't care what you're wearing and if he does, you might as well not bother because he is almost definitely gay. But still. We worry that way.
How much make up is too much? Should I bring floss? What perfume will he like better? Am I wearing deoderant? Will it last the whole night? Are my nails chipping? Why are my bangs doing that? Will this gas go away from the burrito I ate three days ago? Why is the pimple growing and laughing at me? Curly hair or straight hair? Push up bra or no push up bra? Do I want him to think I'm a D cup, really? Should we start this relationship based off of THAT lie? Is wearing this low cut shirt too desperate? Are these skinny jeans too tight? Does my butt look flat? Does my butt look big? Can you see my love handles through this shirt?
-doorbell rings-
You answer happily and in an overly excited manner. He is not as thrilled, but still equally happy. The drive is a bit awkward. You talk about your days. He will drone about work, at this point you try not to talk about the burrito that gave you gas or complain too much about work/school/life in general. Also, avoid gossiping. Basically, if you are a girl, there is not much to talk about at this point it you aren't complaining or talking shit about someone.
You arrive at the restaurant--Applebees. You are extremely overdressed and embarassed to be there. Eating good in the neighborhood, I suppose. At this point, if you are as awkward as I am, you've run out of things to talk about. So you talk about the menu, or the weather, or the fact that your waiter reminds you of your sister/brother/cat/etc. Order an iced tea. It says you're serious and a little bit different.
What to order food wise? Hmm. If you order a salad, you'll look like one of THOSE GIRLS that guys claim to hate (yeah...ok). If you order a burger, you'll most likely get ketchup on your pants. If you order pasta you'll have to clean your chin every five seconds. You decide on a wrap.
So while you sit trying to awkwardly make conversation, you hope that your looks are enough to get you through the evening. Then you get your food and sure enough the wrap falls apart and you're at a complete loss. Meanwhile, the guy is eating his burger happily, loving life, and just kind of watching you (while also checking his phone).
You decide to skip dessert and the check is brought. At this point it hasn't even been an hour. You go to a movie and that awkward moment arises where you don't know who should pay. He insisted on paying for dinner, does that mean he will insist on paying for the movie too, or should you offer again? Should you get popcorn and sno-caps, or will you look like a fat ass? You did just eat dinner. Forget it, you get a cup of water, not a bottle (those are like $6 at movie theaters). At least you guys don't have to talk at this point. He may inch closer to you, this is a good sign. If he is as far away from you as possible, you might as well get up and leave because there is no point in dating someone who acts like you have herpes.
The night finally comes to an end and he drops you off. You awkwardly wait for him to open up your door. For some reason, you just know when a guy is going to do it. He gets out of his door really, super, Edward Cullen, fast or will even say "I'll get it". He walks you to your door. If you're a smart girl, you'll go in for a hug. If you're smart and kind of horny, you'll give him a light kiss (this depends on how long you know him, if this is literally the first meeting, I may judge you), or if you're me you give him a high five for making it through the night.
Sigh.
You walk into your house/apartment/etc. and see your roommate is watching a really good ABC Family original movie and it's almost over and at this point you really wish you wouldn't have wasted your time getting ready and going out with a poor guy that you just high fived.
Huh, after reading this I realize why I'm single.
No, just kidding. We all know I'm single because I have herpes.
Kidding, again.
The moral of the story is this: dating is awkward. It just isn't all that great. It's so much better for love and romance to just happen naturally. This is why I thank God for texting. It isn't nearly as awkward as face to face communication.
I think when you meet someone, you just know if it's going to work out. And if they want it to work out, you'll know too.
Forcing yourself to date is just sad. It's not worth all the effort and hype. It's almost the worst thing ever, I can argue.
Thank God for original TV movies and Dove Chocolate.
I know this was a long one, and if you made it through, thanks for your time,
Until next time,
Kaitie xo
***Also! This blog officially has 400 views! Thanks so much for reading, and I hope to have some good ones coming!
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