Hey all! I hope you guys all had a marvelous Thanksgiving! I know I did. I ate so much that I was in physical pain, so I would say it was a successful year. There are so many things to be thankful for in life and I think we all really do forget that, which is why this holiday is so nice because it brings you together with loved ones and makes you appreciate one another...as well as the amazing-ness of mashed potatoes and gravy (appreciate).
It's been a while since I've blogged, and to my Russian fans, I'm sorry.
Anyways, I feel like there really is so much that I could say right now but today I thought I would try something a little different. Usually, the majority of these blogs are criticizing others and society in general. Today, I say, no.
Today, I will be criticizing myself.
No one is perfect, I can understand this. I definitely am not. Today has been a bad day as far as brains go for me. I don't know what it is but no amount of coffee can seem to save me on this horrid Monday. My moron-level is out of the roof. I hope that while reading this, some people may be able to feel better about themselves.
First off, let me say that I'm running on four hours of sleep. I woke up super early to drive back to school today and didn't sleep well last night so this might have something to do with it. Besides the fact that it's a Monday...and a Monday after a holiday weekend at that.
OK. So it all started when I got back to my apartment today. I put my key in the door and it would not open. I was sincerely panicking. Heart racing, palms sweating. I was locked out! Then I realized I was using my car key. Embarassing. But I got over it.
So then I get to my Marketing class this morning, but first I had to get a very large coffee. I spilled the coffee on my vagina. It kind of hurt, but it was more humiliating than anything because then there was this horrific wet spot on my crotch for at least an hour. It wasn't much and I am wearing dark pants, but inside I was very upset with myself.
Next, I go to the library and am reading while eating a granola bar and suddenly there is this large boom (for some reason, this university thinks it's okay to have a construction zone inside of the library in the middle of the day). I gasp and jump, then proceed to laugh at myself. I'm on the "silent reading" floor mind you, and I get shushed. Literally, someone said "SHH!" It's even more mortifying because I was laughing at myself, not even with someone.
At this point I already feel like an ass hole.
I go to my next class and make a vow to myself to be as non-embarassing as possible. So I'm sitting there, loving life, being silent when the professor starts talking and I'm totally blocking him out then suddenly he goes "Does anyone have any questions about the final exam?" So I raise my hand (WHICH I NEVER DO!...and vowed not to speak today, also..and I'm the only one who raised it) so he calls on me. Then I ask "Is the exam cumulative?" And he proceeds to answer, but I find it strange that a bunch of people are giving me weird looks and that he sounds annoyed. Then I realize he just explained it while I was blocking him out/updating my planner. FML. I'm one of those people....
Later in the same class period, we are discussing nature and what words come to mind when we think of nature. Everyone says all of these great words like "isolation" "peace" "inspiring" things like that. Then my prof calls on me and what do I say? What's the first thing that comes to mind, you ask? "Trees," I respond. -_-
I hate myself at this point.
Finally, I decide the best thing for me and all of humanity is for me to get home as soon as possible and avoid all human contact until that point. I get to the shuttle stop where I catch the bus to my apartment and there's this little red-headed BITCH who is always there and she always cuts in front of everyone to get on the bus first even if others have been there long before her. Seriously, she always does. It's rude and annoying. Just because you're like 4' 2" doesn't give you the right to cut everyone off in life!
Today, of course, was the day I decided to teach her a lesson.
I saw the shuttle coming on the horizon. I looked over at her. She was geared up, ready to go, pushing her little glasses up on her nose. This ginger was not going to beat me today!! I was there at least 5 minutes longer than her.
She starts inching forward. I start inching forward. The bus pulls up and I make my move, swift and sure.
HA! I've won! I have finally beaten the dwarf girl to the bus. Victory tasted sweet on my tongue.
Then...she gains on me!!!! I SWEAR! This girl is nuts. So I decide this is not happening. She can't cheat. I was to the door first. That is it. I open the door with all my might, and the wind knocks it open even more and hits the girl in the chest.
"I'm sorry!" I say. She says nothing, looking pissed as all hell.
I feel like I just punched a baby.
All this girl has is the fact that she is the first on the shuttle. She lives for this. And I tore it away from her and knocked her boobs with the heavy door.
What is wrong with me?
When I finally am in the safety of my own apartment, I realize my tank top under my shirt is on backwards.....
At this point it's only 2 in the afternoon. I sincerely hope nothing else goes too strangely for me today. The idiocy that is my life is starting to get out of hand.
So there you go. I can sit here and blog all I want about how stupid people are and how awkward people like Kristen Stewart are, but at the end of the day I'm the worst of them all.
Sigh.
Have a good week people, God help us all.
Until next time (or as the Russians would say: До следующего раза),
Kaitie xo
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