Let's get to it.
This is fantasy date week aka SEXY TIME.
We are introduced to the beautiful island of Jamaica. Ben thinks Jamaica could be a really great place to fall in love...OR GET LAID.
Bachelor Ben talks about how incredible the last three women are. He talks about the pro's and con's of each woman. Okay. Cool. Great.
First, he discusses Caila and how much joy she exudes, but then continues to say that he feels like she is closed off from him and basically calling her fake. Next, he talks about his wife, Lauren. He says that "with Lauren things just feel right!" However, he says maybe she is too good to be true...basically calling her fake. Finally, he talks about JoJo. He says that JoJo is so fun and full of life, blah blah...BUT her hometown date was AWKWARD AF. He's confused about her family and who she might be as a person. Basically calling her ffffffffffake.
Do you see a trend?
We get some awkward narration from the three women as they talk about how nervous and scared they are and how in love they are. Ben talks about his nerves, too, as he climbs up some old rocks unnecessarily to sit and think.
First, Ben has his sex date with Caila. Ben says that at this point, he feels like he has the deepest relationship with Caila, which is interesting because I honestly cannot see why. They take a raft made of wood down the river and the camera angles are not great because the crew can't fit on this raft with them. There is a lot of awkward silence. Caila says that she just feels so anxious on the date.
Honestly, I don't get how anyone has been able to get to know each other this season considering they're either mad about not getting time with Ben or spend their time with Ben thinking about his relationship with other women/being scared and nervous. I'm supposed to believe that some basis of love can be found given this situation?
Caila says she thinks she is stressed because she's overthinking it. I thinks he's overthinking everything because she isn't ready to marry him. These women are getting to the last week and now they're like "OH SHIT I MIGHT HAVE TO MARRY SOMEONE THAT I DO NOT KNOW"
It's always been more about winning with some people than actually finding love.
I'm not saying that's how Caila is but....who is to know?
That evening, they "eat dinner" and drink. Ben asks Caila why she's being so fake with him (not using those exact words, but you know) Caila is very well-spoken, but it also sounds prettttttty rehearsed, which makes me roll my eyes to the heavens. I guess I would rather hear Caila recite practiced speeches than Lauren babble on.."like, oh my god, like I love you, like I think I love you, LIKE I want to marry you"
Anyways. Caila rants on, and finally ends her speech with "I am in love with you"
He responds by making out with her.
He says that he is relieved that's she back to being the Caila he knows. Psh, you mean the seemingly happy, smiling through the tears Caila? Yeah, that's great, Ben.
Ben says, "I've got something for you," and hands her the fantasy suite date card. Eyebrows wiggle.
It's Sex-Cation time!
Caila claims she sees fireworks in "his eyes and in his heart" yes Caila, those fireworks are actually his hopes of DOING YOU TONIGHT.
I just want them to spend the whole night talking about what they really want after this show, but I know that certainly they will not be doing much talking.
They wake up the next morning. Caila says she loves him AGAIN. They share mimosas and a plate of food that they don't touch. She says she can see herself waking up like this next to Ben every morning.
YEAH, ME TOO CAILA....get in line.
Next, we get to go on Lauren's sex date. Lauren has not yet told Ben that she loves him, and...you guessed it...she is very NERVOUS about telling him. She runs into his arms with her short shorts saying she is "so happy to see him!" YEA I'M SURE YOU ARE.
Ben says that it is "very weird" going from Caila's bed to a sex date with Lauren.
Yeah, we agree.
They go on, SHOCK, a boat ride around the island. They land and some Australian named Mel talks about how they're going to get to witness him releasing some baby sea turtles.
AHHH CUTE.
Ben says "me and Lauren get to help turtles survive, which is a very important thing."
LOL yeah, Ben, we know but knock it off with the cuteness.
The little turtles are very cute, running around with sand all over them. Ben says, "I'm filled with a day of cuteness: Lauren is here, the turtles are super cute, Mel's good looking.."
Haha, oh Ben, you're so funny!
WHY CAN'T YOU MARRY ME?
They release hundreds of baby turtles into the ocean and it's FUCKING ADORABLE...Lauren and Ben try to compare the saving of hundreds of sea turtles to their relationship..of course...it's all about them.
Ben talks to Lauren about her family and how much he enjoyed meeting them, and talking to her sister...and admits that he started crying and says that Lauren is too good for him. UGH GOD JUST GIVE HER THE RING NOW WHY DON'T YOU.
Lauren and Ben go to a fun Jamaican concert/dinner place. Thankfully, they are not the only ones there. You guys know how much I dislike those uncomfortable one on one private concerts. Eek.
They sit down to talk about their relationship. Lauren is "TERRIFIED" to tell him how she feels. This season: a season of scardey-cats, I tell you. I totally blank out when she starts talking about her fears. Ben tells her that he's sorry and he wants her to be able to talk about him about things. Lauren goes, "oh my God, Ben stop. Literally, you are the man of my dreams. You are the reason I'm here and why I stayed."
Which I think is kind of nice, because for the first time I really do think Lauren loves Ben and isn't just trying to be the perfect Bachelor contestant.
And he starts fucking TEARING up. He loves her so much it's ridiculous.
I knew it from the moment she stepped out of the limo!
At least I think I did...we can go back and read the first blog if we need to...but I'm pretty sure I called it.
Lauren opens the Sex-Cation date card.
Obviously, they say yes.
Lauren FINALLY tells Ben that she loves him, and he couldn't look happier. Like, you guys, he looks like he is about to cry.
AND THEN AND THEN YOU GUYS...
And then
He SAYS IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHOOOA.
I mean, this is unheard of!
He literally says, "I've known I'm in love with you for a while, as well."
NO BACHELOR IN THE HISTORY OF BACHELORS HAS EVER SAID IT BACK.
I'm rolling around on the floor. I'm dying. I can't even. CAN'T. EVEN.
This is unprecedented.
Are the producers freaking out? I would love to see Papi H's reaction to this.
Holy moly.
Lauren cries, he cries, they share a sweet kiss. GET A ROOM.
I mean, LUCKY HER...she gets to hear it back. So many before her haven't been able to hear it back. Ooh boy, he better pick her now. You can't go back from that.
Is this a new fantasy suite, or the same one that was used with Caila?
The next morning they're all gushy and cute.
Lauren says, "Ben is my person"
CUTTTTIES.
Ben is like "alright, babe, gotta go have my sex date with JoJo now..."
Ben tells us that although he is heading to his date with JoJo, he can't stop thinking about Lauren (eh, awkward..what would JoJo's brothers think?) but he needs to explore his options with JoJo because he cares about her a lot. DESPITE her terrifying family.
JoJo is the only of the three that has seemed genuinely excited for her date. The other two were just "SCARED"
Want to take bets whether they do a boat or a helicopter?
Ah, it's been too long since we've seen a helicopter...so you guessed it: the two go on a helicopter ride around the island.
They land by some waterfall randomly and start screwing around in there. JoJo says she's never been the first to say "I love you" ever in a relationship.
JoJo tells Ben that she can really see her future with him. But she says that she is afraid to say "I love you" because she's so scared (UGH) BUT she says it.
AND THEN
AND THEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNN
Ben FUCKING SAYS IT BACK.
AGAIN.
Twice.
In one episode.
I die.
JoJo's reaction is priceless, she's like "w-what?" she starts crying and goes, "are you allowed to say that?"
Ben, ugh, God. What are you thinking? I mean, I like JoJo and if he does love her than I'm glad he said it but he's got to think about long term. He's going to choose one girl, and that one girl is going to go back and watch this and be like "ehhhh....?"
JoJo says that today is the best day of her life and that she is so happy.
Oh, boy!
Well...I'm conflicted.
Ben narrates over saying he doesn't know how this happened or why, but he has fallen in love with two women and cannot imagine saying goodbye to either of them. lol ok so I guess this means Caila is definitely going home this week.
I mean, it kind of sucks because both JoJo and Lauren probably feel so good and confident having heard him say that back. Like, can you imagine thinking you're going to be chosen/marry someone, and then they're going to turn around and send you home?
Ben...ugh, Ben.
He's a good guy, but HOW CAN YOU LOVE TWO PEOPLE?
I mean this isn't just like me saying I love Leonardo DiCaprio AND Michael Fassbender and would never be able to choose between them...these are like, real people.
Ben seems very concerned about JoJo's brothers' opinion of him.
Well, if you care that much about what her family thinks then you shouldn't have told two women you love them on national television..
but what do I know?
They get the Sex-Cation date card, and of course say yes. Ben shows her around, another bitch, another day, man. It's weird to hear JoJo calling Ben "baaaabe!"
JoJo says that this is her fairy tale love and that she believes in the fairy tale and shit. Oh man, oh man. I hope he doesn't say bye to her. I don't want to see JoJo sad!!!!
But like, how can he say bye to Lauren after CRYING to her?
Oh I'm so conflicted.
I daresay I am more conflicted than Ben.
And Caila just has NO idea she's going home.
ALSO, has anyone else noticed that all three of the final girls are 24??
Ben walks around the beach, thinking about the events that have transpired the past few days. He says he is not excited about saying bye to Caila. It's weird for us as viewers to go into a rose ceremony KNOWING who is going home for sure...
Meanwhile, Caila is back in her hotel room, smiling as usual...like why must her teeth be constantly showing? I'm sorry to sound like a bitch but how can anyone be that happy all the time?! I can see why Ben questioned that.
She says that she misses him, and wants to see him again, and that she can tell that when she told him she loved him and looked at him, that he felt the same way.
Oh, dear.
So she gets in a car and tells her driver to take her to Ben. I'm sure Caila is used to having a driver.
I know we're supposed to feel really bad for Caila here, and I do. I do feel bad for her, really...but I'm also annoyed and I can't pinpoint why..
I think it's the annoying smiling. Or her rehearsed speeches.
AND ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE BEN IS JUST CASUALLY SITTING IN THAT CHAIR CONTEMPLATING AS SHE ARRIVES?!
Oh, please.
So she runs up behind him sneakily and covers his eyes before kissing him. Ben is clearly very shocked.
Or at least we are supposed to believe he is.
Caila is all giggles and smiles until they sit down and Ben is not smiling. Shit, he's going to do this now you guys. This is not a drill.
Caila stops smiling, realizing this isn't going to go her way.
And he dumps her in the most heartbreaking/honest way. He says that he is in love with two women here and he just couldn't say it back when it came to Caila. Aww, man... poor girl :\
on a side note: do you guys think she curls her hair that way everyday, or does it just sort of fall like that?
Anyways. He walks her to the car and says his goodbye. She is not pleased. She's crying and unhappy, but also sassily pissed off. She is just about to pull away when she tells the driver to stop. She jumps out and asks Ben, "did you know this week?"
Ben does his best to explain, and says that he would have never went through with this week if he had known he was sending her home. Which is nice, and I want to believe that.
I feel so bad for her, and she really looks devastated. Ben is sad, too, and feels awful. Damn, you know who I feel bad for? The driver. He/she always has to listen to these poor girls crying in the backseat.
How are there ten minutes still left in the episode?!
Ben reminds us that he is, indeed, in love with two women.
Papi H hosts everyone at his Jamaican villa. He greets JoJo, who arrives first. He asks her how the week went and how she feels going into the rose ceremony...she says "unbelievable!" She says she feels so good in her relationship with Ben and cannot imagine him feeling that way about someone else.
Oh, dear.
Enter Lauren. Papi greets her as well, and she tells him a similar story. Papi is visibly concerned. I mean he can't even mask it. Inside he's like "wtf is Ben doing!?"
The two women that Ben LOVES standing awkwardly together. JoJo asks Lauren if she's the most anxious she's ever been and Lauren says "eh, idk, I'm fine" and JoJo is like "HUH"
I mean, how long are the producers going to have them stand there?!
And why are they even here? Caila is already gone!
Ben FINALLY makes his appearance. He explains that Caila is gone, he also says he is very "confident" in his final two ladies. The girls both look relieved. Yeah, obviously you are confident if you love them both, Ben. Good lord.
For some reason he still goes through with the rose ceremony...? What a waste of time.
He hands JoJo the first rose, and Lauren the second. This may be the first time allllll season Lauren has not gotten the first rose.
They end the ceremony with one awkward group hug. Ben really wishes he could be a polygamist. I know I've said it before, but it's never been more apparent until now.
I really disagree with the idea of being in love with two people the same way. I think you have to know you love someone more. Right?! I mean, that's just insane.
But we won't find out for another two weeks since next week (well I guess tomorrow since I wrote this blog so late) is MY PERSONAL FAVORITE BITCHFEST: The Women Tell All
Soooooooo
who do you guys think it'll be?
JoJo or Lauren?
I'm going to stick with my guns from the beginning and say Lauren. I just think his emotional reaction to Lauren is too obvious.
I do like JoJo, too. She's always been fun and a good pal to the other girls. If he chose her I would not be mad...but IDK you guys. I think it's going to be Lauren. I'm like 80% sure.
Until next time,
Kaitie
xo
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