This week we're in Brussels, Belgium! Home of the best sprouts and waffles...EVER.
Bachelorette Andi is taking this week V.V. seriously because next week is hometown dates and she isn't about to into just ANY man's home and meet his family. Only the four men she loves. NBD.
So the men arrive and Dylan is rocking the man-bun today, so props to him. A few men decide to try for the scarf look, again, this week. They waste no time talking about they're all falling for Andi.
Special delivery: BOOM HERE I AM, CHARRISON.
Chris Harrison informs them that this week is "pivotal." Everything gets serious. Nick makes sure everyone knows he takes this seriously and he also thinks that he is number 1.
Needy Marcus gets the first one-on-one of the week, much to the others' chagrin. (PS I didn't realize so many of you people like Marcus...??) Andi lets us know that she has liked him "very much" since earlier on. Andi says that she is concerned that Marcus was planning on maybe leaving the competition when he realized he didn't want to compete with a bunch of other dudes for her affection. She says she wants to make sure that he is the type of guy that will "stick with her, through thick and thin" even if she is kissing six other men. They spend some time walking through the streets of Brussels.
Marcus tells Andi that she--I mean he--has been journaling. A lot. Mostly about her.
He tells her he wanted to leave because he was so afraid of how strongly he was feeling for her so quickly.
I'm not saying Marcus isn't attractive. I am saying that even attractive men can be very, very creepy. OKAY?
just my opinion though.
Andi says that their dinner is "Very Fancy" as opposed to all the other one-on-one dinners which have been, you know, subpar. (I'm speaking to you, castle in Italy!)
Marcus is nervous to tell Andi about his family. Aren't we all?
So he opens up about his dad leaving his family. Andi listens with her usual pouty face. Marcus really delves in and basically tells Andi that his mother was abusive to him, but they're better now. And honestly, that is quite sad. :( Poor Marcus.
This might explain his quickness to needing love and compassion from Andi.
Andi goes as far as to say that Marcus is "a man...a total package man"
Marcus tells us that Andi is his soulmate.
So things are definitely in Marcus's favor, right now.
Next, Josh gets the second one-on-one date. The other guys are sour about it. Josh is pumped about "Ghent-ing it on"
Cheesy sex jokes are always hilar.
Marcus gets back from his date, pretty pumped, talking about how meaningful the dates are now. Nick is unhappy. He decides to take matters into his own hands, like the Software Salesman that he is. He goes down to the lobby, claims to have forgotten his room key, and his room number, and tells the concierge that the room is under his wife's name, 'Dorfman.'
The desk clerk doesn't even question the fact that there are cameras watching them at all, or the fact that some random man is asking for a room key to a woman's room in a five-star resort hotel.
Things sure are different in Belgium.
I blame the complimentary waffles.
Nick is 'taking a shot' by going to knock on Andi's door. If that's what we call unwanted sexual advances now-a-days, then fine.
Andi seems to really like it though. She greets him with a huge smile, asking if anything is wrong. Obviously, she thought he was coming to tell her he was leaving or something. Which I think we were all actually hoping for. But we know better. Nick wants to win--I mean, he wants Andi's hand in marriage?
They go for a walk and Andi says she feels "Somewhat guilty" but that she is also here for herself and to find love, so whatever. YOLO!
Andi says if she had to use one word to describe Nick: "passion"
So they spend the remainder of their time sucking face.
Reeling off of two men who can't seem to stop telling her how much they love her, she goes out with Josh, who has yet to tell her that she is his soulmate. So naturally, Andi is very concerned with this.
She wants him to open up to her more, basically.
Which I get considering there's only a few weeks left of the show and she needs a hunky husband.
Josh says he is feeling deep feelings for Andi but he doesn't know how to handle them because he has never dated a woman who is dating five other men before.
So you be the judge on who is right in this situation.
I'm just trying to remind myself that this is reality television and who the fuck knows if there even is a moral code for this kind of situation.
OKAY so like...I don't love Josh. I feel like there is something he is not saying. And I get Andi's reservations. But if you put Josh against Nick...Josh wins, hands down. Nick is sneaky, and just because he tells Andi he wants to be her husband does not mean he actually cares for her.
I do think Josh cares for Andi, I think it's not as natural to him to compete with other men for a woman's affection...let's be honest...he's probably never had to do it before.
He is very hesitant to tell Andi his feelings. When she asks him what he will tell his parents when they ask how he feels about Andi...Josh finally comes out and admits that he is falling in love with Andi. Andi is shocked by this. (even though she's been basically threatening to send him home if he didn't say it)
Is Josh a good guy? I don't doubt it.
Do I think this is how he should be finding a wife? Absolutely not.
They do a quick make out session before going to yet ANOTHER PRIVATE AWKWARD CONCERT. Wow!!!
This is the season of letters, and the season of awkward private concerts, man.
The group date starts. Andi takes the remaining four: Dylan, Brian, Chris, and Nick to the countryside of Belgium. Chris looks so absolutely beautiful that I'm having a hard time summarizing the rest of this date.
Andi makes the guys pedal her down some railway and it's actually kind of funny. These men are sweating (no shock) but Nick can barely contain the fact that he is actually having some fun on a group date. As much as he hates to admit it, he clearly is.
Brian, as usual, makes the best out of the situation and lightens the mood. Although, for an athletic coach he sure is panting a lot. Maybe it's all for show.
PS Can you imagine if Juan Pablo made women pedal him down a railway because I can and it's hilarious.
Andi takes the boys to a monastary.
With monks.
How romantic.
Andi takes Chris, her secret admirer, to make some pottery. And he is looking very good in his denim shirt and I am completely in love with him.
Andi informs the guys that she is giving out the rose to someone and the other three men have to go back to the hotel. God, please don't be stupid and give the rose to Chris. I want to see more of him, always.
Brian is so nervous and actually quite cute. He claims that "Nick thinks he's smarter than everyone else. He's smarter than me, but I don't respect him."
Awe, Brian! Don't cut yourself short.
Just because the guy sells software doesn't mean he's a boy genius, okay?
Chris gets angry because Nick is all about the game and strategizing and isn't here for the right reasons. He probably isn't. All he does is talk about how great he is and how he is going to be the number one pick for the draft.
Brian opens up to Andi and tells her that he is falling in love with her. She responds with her 'cool girl' attitude meaning she basically dismisses him by poking fun at him a little bit...which is so rude! Brian: I...I am falling in love with you.
Andi: Oh yeah?
Brian Yeah...
Andi: Is that what you would tell your family on the hometowns?
Brian: Yes.
LIKE GET OVER YOURSELF ANDI.
That's so sad. Brian is so sweet, and the poor guy doesn't stand a damn chance of making it to next week, you guys. Brian also says he is confident that he could treat Andi better than Nick does. And I agree. I think any guy there could treat Andi better than Nick could. BTW Nick totally jacked Josh's blue scarf from last week.
Did anyone else notice this?
It's clear Andi is in love with Nick though...and it's extremely frustrating to watch. Especially when she gives Nick the rose.
Dylan, Chris, and Brian all walk away, walking and looking the exact same. And why do they all have to sit in the backseat together? Dylan has to sit bitch, which I find funny. Wish he still had his man bun in right now. Chris is very sweet as usual and says that every single guy here is better off with Andi than Nick is. (mostly himself, tbh, but that is nice of him to say)
When the guys get back to the hotel, they all talk shit about Nick together. Meanwhile, Nick is working his awkward 'charm'
Andi tells Nick she has one little surprise and he has to follow her.
Wait, I feel like I've heard this before?
IS THIS ANOTHER AWKWARD PRIVATE CONCERT?
Because no fucking way.
Okay, it's just a private firework show.
No big deal.
So Nick gets back from the fireworks and the boys are all talking mad smack. He has the nerve (ballsy) to sit down right in the middle of them all. They are all quiet for twenty seconds too long. Brian breaks the silence by confonting Nick about his attitude.
They tell him that he has been talking about strategy more than he has been talking about Andi. Chris steps up to plate and tells Nick that he has been over analyzing every possible outcome and even talking about who would be the next Bachelor. Newsflash: it won't be fucking Nick, even if he loses, women in America don't like that scarf on him, okay?
#TEAMIOWA
Nick assures everyone once again that he is there for the right reasons.
So that's all we can do about that.
Can we get to the rose ceremony? Please, for the Love of God..this episode is dragging.
So we finally get to the cocktail party. Andi shows up looking gorgeous in a black ball gown with crystals on it and stuff.
Every guy takes their turn giving their "one last shot" speech.
Nick decides that even though he has a rose, and even though he knows he is a front runner, he is going to steal Andi away from Brian. And she lets him. At this point, I'm just whatever.
Obviously no one's feelings matter but her's...so let's continue.
PS Has anyone noticed that when she kisses a guy she sticks her bottom lip way out first? It's odd.
Nick tears up while talking about her and I'm really overcome with Nick in this episode. In the words of Andi, he has completely exhausted me tonight.
Chris needs to make one final move and takes Andi to kiss her. (why can't that be me?)
Roses go as follows:
1- Josh, no shocker there
2- Marcus, again, no shock
3- Chris, WOOOO TEAM IOWA!
Thus sending Dylan and Brian home.
It's hard to watch them go because Dylan and Brian were very 'neutral good' throughout the entire process. Dylan has really flown under the radar with the exception of his man bun. But that's the problem, and he admitted it himself...he couldn't open up fast enough. Most normal human beings cannot. We're not all like Marcus who says he loves someone after a week.
Brian was hard too because he was such a sweet guy, like the kind of guy that your friend dates and you're like "wow okay, I can find a good guy too! they do exist!" So Brian, my dear, good luck :(
Next week's episode looks really, really intense. Hometowns are always dramatic because there's always going to be an ass hole inlaw.
So we'll see.
PS If Andi doesn't pick Chris and if Chris is the new Bachelor, I've made a promise to put an application in. Because I'm hashtag team iowa.
Winners of the Week:
Unfortunately, Average Guy Nick V. took home the win this week. She's definitely in love with him. Although, Needy Marcus won by opening up to Andi about his emotional home life. Josh for finally admitting his true feelings, even if it was kind of by force.
Losers of the Week:
Dylan and Brian :(
Hottie of the Week:
Giving it to Farmer Chris because he can rock a denim shirt.
Until next time,
Kaitie
xo
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